If Life Were More Like Video Games…


People make mistakes and bad decisions, it's an inevitable part of life. It is how we learn from these mistakes and move on that define our personalities. Some people become cynical when the world crashes down on them, whereas others become wiser. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, isn't that right? But in the world of video games, you can reload previous moments in your life in order to avoid any bad decision that you've made. Regret getting that B.A. in English? Simply reload your life back to your first year of college. If life had the ability to reload past save points, we wouldn't have to worry about bad decisions ever again. It would simply be a matter of trial-and-error.

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…female uniforms/armor would be more revealing.


Practicality takes a back seat to sex appeal when it comes to female clothing and armor in video games. If reality followed a similar trend, we would see a lot more cleavage and shorter skirts in just about any female professional. Female police officers, lunch ladies, and janitors would all have to look uncomfortably sexy.


…your limbs would stick through walls.

Who's that angry guy at the door? If reality had the same clipping issues as video games, then limbs and heads will stick out through walls and you'd be able to see exactly who's on the other side. You can even slap the guy to death through the door, if your Goldeneye skills apply here. Nice, isn't it? You'll never need to use that pesky peephole again.

…people wouldn't have genitals.


If there's one thing that video games have taught us about anatomy, it is that we all look like Barbie and Ken dolls underneath our clothing. Take a look at Raiden (Metal Gear Solid 2) and Kasumi (Dead or Alive), for example. They're missing a few important features on their bodies! Because of the lack of need for reproductive organs in the world of video games, this is one of the few examples in which reality is actually preferred.

 

…you can prevent death by eating food off the floor.



In the Castlevania series, members of the Belmont clan can recover health by finding plates of chicken hidden throughout the walls of Dracula's ancient castle. It's the same thing with the Final Fight series, eating chicken found on the streets while beating up gangsters is the best way to keep yourself alive. Yes, it's disgusting, but it's the most precious thing you can find when you're on the verge of death. If life worked in a similar fashion, human beings would be able to cheat death by eating food found on the floor. Imagine this: You've just been shot in a dark alley and you only have about one minute left to live before you bleed to death. If life were more like video games, you'd be able to find that precious plate of chicken and walk away without a scratch. Sigh.


…everything would end in GAME OVER.


Just about every video game ends with the “GAME OVER” screen. It doesn't matter whether the player succeeds or fails, it's basically the same screen that pops up. Similar to life itself, our fate will inevitably end with the metaphoric “Game Over” screen. It doesn't matter what you've done or accomplished in life, the end will always be the same. Depressing? Absolutely.

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