"Born With an Apple in my Mouth and Some Coke on my Ass"
"Born With an Apple in my Mouth and Some Coke on my Ass"

Getting Our Balls Busted by Chris Kattan

It's hard to believe that Chris Kattan's SNL run ended in 2003 because then we'd all have to admit that we've aged. OK we might have, but it seems like Kattan is busy aging like a fine wine. And if you're wondering where this master of impressions and beloved characters has been the real question is, where in the world have you been? From TV, movies, and to writing a book, he's been keeping busy and this former Groundlings member is now returning to his roots by hitting the stage at the Brea Improv on June 4th. Before his Wednesday night show hits, we got this funny man on the phone to get the details of what exactly his life is like now and what's coming up that we can look forward to. Oh, and he also found time to talk shit about our occasional use of writing with cliche phrases in the phrases.

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): It was great to see you on Seth Myers doing an extended Mr. Peepers. It looks so painful to tear through apples like that!

Chris Kattan: Yeah well it's a gift and it's a gift. [Laughs.] I didn't know how many apples there would be but there were more than I thought! When I did it on SNL, I'd bite the sides of my mouth and I would bleed pretty badly every time. That's why I don't do it as often but I did get better at it. Did you ever see that cartoon where he's eating corn on the cob like it's a typewriter? That's the thought in my head with that, to eat an apple like a typewriter.

It was really funny, your face at the end sealed the deal too. Mango was always my favorite of yours from SNL. Do you ever get sick of people wanting you to the impressions?

Oh thank you. Umm...yeah I do get tired of it sometimes. I mean, it would be kind of rude for somebody at the bank to say, "Hey while you're depositing do you mind swatting your ass for me?" [Laughs.] It's nice though too because a lot of people refer to me as doing those characters or just one character. There seem to be some that people always request like Azrael Abyss or Corky Romano. I think a lot of the characters I did, whether it was in a movie or on TV, seem to have a fan base. I always try to do different things though because I never wanted to be a one trick pony. I always felt like I was more of a fifteen trick pony.

Oh for sure and it's cool because everything you've done still transcends. It's like your fan base is so broad in age.

Oh that's good to know! It's hard for people to say what my type is or what exactly I do because with me, there are a lot of things they can refer to but not just one thing. People get confused on where to put me sometimes so I have to just create my own world or something.

That's a good thing because like you said, you're not a one trick pony.

Yeah OK. I guess you're right. Yeah, thank you very much. Can you say that again? I love to hear I'm right...

[Laughs.] Yes, you're right. Wait, where are you right now as we speak? Are you in the OC?

No sorry, I'm in Vegas multi-tasking with you.

Whoa. Are you doing blow?

Yes and directly off of a hooker's ass at this very moment.

Oh that is so funny because I'm working and someone is doing blow off of my ass! It's difficult.

Haha incredible, you're instantly a sixteen trick pony! OK let's focus Chris! As a former member of The Groundlings, do you have a preference between screen and stage?

I love working with people so it's all about working with others for me. I really enjoy stand-up but I do prefer acting a little bit more. The neat thing about stand-up is that it took me awhile to feel comfortable with owning a stage because you are on your own up there. I'm not usually a big hogger like, I want it all! I'm much more of a sharer. I love it though because I love interacting with the crowds. That's a big part of it for me.

I noticed that you're doing one night gigs so are you working on an hour special or something?

I don't really have any intention of doing that but I could do it if I set my mind to it or if someone told me to do that. I love goals so if it were something that I had to do, I'd do it. Right now I just finished writing a TV show with a good friend of mine Paul Dinello, who's the head writer for Stephen Colbert. I'm also working on finishing up a book about The Groundlings, Saturday Night Live, and other things. A lot of people have done the book thing but mine is a little bit more...how do I say it? Umm, a little more honest about other people and the experience. I won't lose any friends but, it's going to be a different kind of book.

So is it like a "tell all?"

A tell all? I guess maybe that's what you'd call it but, if a book isn't a "tell all" that means you're not telling everything! Why would you write a book that isn't a tell all? Like, here's a book and I'm just going to tell you some things. My book is unabridged or, it's a bridge. It's an unabridged book. It's a special bridge copy. [Laughs.] It'll be called, "My Life Unabridged."

Really or are you fucking with me?

I'm joking. I don't have a title for it right now. It'll probably be called something like, "Born With an Apple in my Mouth and Some Coke on my Ass." [Laughs.]

I like that title! It may be hard to get a window display at a book store but let's be real, who goes in book stores anymore?

[Laughs.] It would be a great book though. I mean, "Born With an Apple in my Mouth and Some Coke on my Ass?" I mean, come on. That's brilliant.

I agree 100%. And if you put dollar signs on the S's of the word ass, you could appeal to a much younger audience as well.

Yes! Because the younger audience always loves an unabridged novel.

Indeed. Well I'm sure young and old will come out to see you in Brea. Do you do a pretty high energy set?

High energy? I mean, what does that mean? High energy to me means techno music and there isn't any of that. What the hell? [Laughs.]

OK I didn't mean glow sticks spinning! I mean, I can't picture you being frumpy sitting on a stool!

I'm not sitting on a stool the whole time, I'm standing too. But I'm not dancing the whole time like high energy. High energy sounds exhausting! But people should come out to the Brea Improv because it will be a night of unabridged brilliance!

Check out Chris Kattan this Wednesday June 4th at the Brea Improv, 120 South Brea Blvd. Brea, CA 92821. (714) 482-0700. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more info, check out follow him on Twitter @ChrisKattan.

Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.


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