Bringing a baby into this world is a great thing. That being said, anyone can have unprotected sex so it isn't really breaking news. Case in point: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Sadly, this (pretend) unplanned pregnancy will no doubt take over the airwaves, the internet, and we're even betting that it will spawn yet another TV show with the overexposed Kardashian Klan. And we can all talk as much shit on this innocent baby as we want but at the end of the day, it isn't the baby's fault that it will be born to a mother who is famous for fucking and who'll pimp it out as soon as Ryan Seacrest ponies up the cash, and a father who thinks crushing young girl's spirits (Taylor Swift), using a Katrina fundraiser as a personal platform, and wearing leather skirts is a good look.
After a “long” courtship of eight months, Kanye announced the great news every so sexily by saying, “Stop the music real quick. Make noise for my baby mama.” on Sunday night at his concert in Atlantic City. It turns out that Kim is twelve weeks along (you do the math) and even though we wish them a happy and healthy baby, we are also sooo not looking forward to “Kim and Kanye Take the Maternity Ward” on the E! Channel.
It's apparent to everyone that this family will do anything for attention and since they love being in the limelight so much, we thought we'd join in on the craze that is already spreading across the internet faster than Kim's…well you know…which is, what will this duo name their baby? As you can imagine, we had a few thoughts.
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5- K' Donda
Keeping with the “K” theme, Kanye would no doubt like to pay homage to his mother that passed away and what better way than to gift this child with her name in Donda's honor. Of course, they will just havvve to add the “K” because of the obvious but they should be “kareful” because only three K's in one family could lead to trouble if you catch what we're throwing.
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4- K'Omari Kiroc K'Oprah
Nothing helps the media hungry quite like giving their baby a famous name or naming a famous person (preferably who is also a media whore) as their “godparent.” Since Omari is Kanye's middle name we'll give him that…but you gotta add the “K.” With a middle name of Kiroc you just know Diddy will be calling for play dates and Oprah will give it all of HER FAVORITE THINGGGGGSSSS!!! Seriously people. What a spoiled little baby K'Omari Kiroc K'Oprah West would be.
3- Kinehora
First off, I must give props to my “kool” dad for coming up with this baby name so blame him if you don't like it. And even though this baby won't be Jewish, it still can be “chosen” to get an appropriate name. According to the Yiddish dictionary, kinehora means, “the evil eye or an evil curse that is often preceded or followed by the act of spitting.” Clearly this name would fit. No explanation necessary. Although….we're sure the spitting should be omitted because you know this baby mama doesn't spit.
2- Khaki Ivy
Duh. Kim and Kanye wish they were Jay-Z and Beyoncé but news flash KIMYE, they both have talent. And another news flash KIMYE, only one of you has talent. It's true that Kanye does have mad skills and even though his ego sometimes (most of the time) gets in the way, the talent is surely there. Kim though? Is she talented? Umm…OK. So yeah. Khaki Ivy. It's a wannabe sorta the same name but it has a K. Plus according to Kanye, Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. Sounds logical.
1- Kim Jr.
This name probably works the best whether this bambino turns out to be a boy or a girl because, well, nobody loves Kim like Kim loves Kim. Oh wait. Her mom Kris might love Kim even more because she is her main meal ticket. No matter who loves Kim the most, little Kim Jr. will no doubt be more famous than most of us even while in the womb. Really, with Kris is the Grandma? It's a no brainer.
At this point, you've read this list and no doubt have realized that we aren't the biggest fans of the Kardashian's. Matter of fact, we are even pissed that spell check knew how to spell Kardashian. We're all entitled to our own opinions and honestly (OK, only half honestly.) hope for a healthy baby for both Kim and Kanye and are happy for their happiness whether it's real or for “reality” TV. Stay “klassy” KIMYE.
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