Civilians never win in a Boob War unless they're big-breasted waitresses

Civilians never win in a Boob War unless they're big-breasted waitresses
Hooters

All too often, Boob Wars coverage talks too much about the big names and front-line combatants and not enough about the civilians and little people affected by the constant bombardment of cleavage and cup size. 


Thankfully, the national scientific community hasn't forgotten about these people. A recent study, in fact, found out how breast size--along with other factors--affects a waitress's tip. 

Think you can figure out the findings without having to go to the jump?

A Cornell University professor published a paper in Restaurant Hospitality that found that waitresses with curvy hips, blonder hair and large breasts received the best tips. Shocking, isn't it? 

Of course, this study was done by self-reported survey of waitresses on a website, so it's not exactly scientifically airtight. But it does finally give validity to the hiring practices of Hooters

The other nice news is that this means Lindsay Lohan, now that she's squandered most of her career opportunities in Hollywood, could make ends meet as a waitress instead of just being a punching bag for one.

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