Before It Gets Old: Puerto Rican Singer Elvis Crespo Knows How to Handle Himself

I had never been exposed to Puerto Rican merengue singer Elvis Crespo before, but now he definitely has stained my memory, and I doubt it'll come out for a while. The singer is being investigated for allegedly masturbating on an airplane, and the accompaning Associated Press article is full of uninentionally (well, maybe) hilarious bits. Such as:

When asked by police at the airport about the accusation, the 37-year-old Puerto Rican singer said: "I don't recall doing that."

Ah, yes. The perfect defense for masturbating on an airplane! I wonder why I didn't think of that. And then there's this:

According to the police report, 52-year-old Patricia Perea of Canyon Gate, Texas, told police she was sitting next to the singer of the hit song "Suavemente." She said that about 15 minutes after the plane left Houston, Crespo covered himself with a blanket and began to masturbate, then exposed himself.

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Fifteen minutes in? For a plane ride from Houston to Miami? I guess maybe he was trying to squeeze a couple in. At least he covered himself with a blanket, though I guess that didn't last long. I wonder if it'll help his defense if something really sexy happened before taking off. Those cartoony drawings of people on the safety procedure cards can be pretty hot.

Yes, usually "Before It Gets Old" includes a video. I think we're all OK that there's none this time around.


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