3hree Things: On The Funniest Video From The East Coast Quake

Watch out for 3hree Things every Tuesday, where Riley Breckenridge, drummer of Orange County's favorite local alt-rock band Thrice, gives his take on life in Southern California as an OC native.

3hree Things: On The Funniest Video From The East Coast Quake

image courtesy of gizmodo.com


Last week, our East Coast counterparts got a little taste of what we So Cal folks seem to deal with on (what seems like) a monthly basis: a moderately-sized earthquake. East Coast reactions to and jokes about the quake cluttered Facebook and Twitter feeds nationwide, which were quickly followed by a healthy dose of ribbing from "seasoned" West Coast earthquake veterans. Neither of which were as funny as this minute-long clip from The MLB Network's Fantasy 411 show (uncovered by @jon_bois via @jose3030), which happened to be taping when the quake happened.
 

The first time I watched this, my face exploded, sending a mouthful of cereal through my nose, and all over my monitor. To be honest, I'm really not sure how to break this up into traditional 3hree Things format (although I'm still going to try to clumsily do so), but I've watched this clip more than forty times, and it's not getting any less funny. I feel that it's my duty to share it with OCWeekly readers. It's just too good not to.

If you're eating or drinking as you're reading this, please stop. It's a safety hazard, as you might either damage expensive electronics or wedge a piece of cereal in your sinus cavity.

You've been forewarned.

And here it is...


1) Casting

I wonder if there's a way to spin this off into a sitcom. The guy on the left, Mike Siano, could be played by Jerry Ferrara (Turtle from Entourage). The guy in the middle, Jeremy Brisiell, could be played by Brendan Fraser (who, at this point in his career, might be more famous for this than anything else), and the know-it-all on the right, Cory Schwartz, could be played by Paul Giamatti. The chemistry and potential for character development here is undeniable. But since truth is almost always stranger (and more funny) than fiction, maybe we should just take the Fantasy 411 crew on a tour of the United States' natural disasters (hurricanes, tornadoes, noreasters, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions) in a Winnebago. It'd be like Storm Chasers  meets Ghost Hunters, and probably more successful than the new Whitney Cummings show on NBC.

3hree Things: On The Funniest Video From The East Coast Quake
3hree Things: On The Funniest Video From The East Coast Quake


image courtesy of deltafilms.com

3) Giamatti As The Know-It-All And Purveyor of Facts of Doom

If we take this show on the road, Giamatti's role really gets to expand. He could be a scene-stealer. It's an Emmy-worthy role.

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"HOLY SHIT."

"Wow. Dude...that's a tornado. I've seen the movie Twister twice. Yeah, this is a tornado."

"This is what a tornado is."

"Holy shit."

"Did you know that tornado gusts have been recorded as high as 270 mph? If you were to step outside, the gusts could disrobe you, rip your arms and legs off, and throw your limbless body over half a mile, leaving you naked and helpless in a wind-battered pile of bloody and bruised agony covered by so much debris that nobody would hear your cries for help before you bled to death?"


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