Director D.J. Caruso fancies himself a hipster Hitchcock, with Shia LaBeouf as his snarky Jimmy Stewart. Last year, the duo remade Rear Window and called it Disturbia; this week, they return with their North by Northwest/The Man Who Knew Too Much mash-up, Eagle Eye, which is also flavored with overpowering dashes of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Live Free or Die Hard, and The Parallax View. To offer up even the barest hint of plot synopsis would be fruitless, for two reasons: It would take a week to untangle this convoluted talealso starring Michelle Monaghan as a single mom, Michael Chiklis as the secretary of defense, Billy Bob Thornton as an FBI agent, and Rosario Dawson as an Air Force investigatorand youd never believe it anyway. For grins: LaBeouf and Monaghan are two dupes in the wrong place at the wrong time who get wrangled into a plot to kill not only the president, but almost every other government official in the line of succession. By whom? Um HAL 9000. From tepid start to laughable middle to thudding finish (and the final two minutes smack of a reshoot), its nothing but a herky-jerky clusterfuck of noise and nonsense that scoffs at logic in order to justify its brainless treatise on American foreign policy, terrorism, and government surveillance. Big Brothers watching you, and he cant stop laughing his ass off.
D.J. CarusoShia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, Michael Chiklis, Anthony Mackie, Billy Bob ThorntonDan McDermott, John Glenn, Travis Wright, Hillary SeitzAlex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Patrick CrowleyParamount Studios