Photo by Robert Sebree/FoxThe average American Idol contestant lasts four, maybe five minutes in front of the judges—and they're trying to win. OC Weekly lasted that long in a recent conference-call interview with Idol judge Paula Abdul—and we were trying to lose.
With virtually every other major entertainment outlet indulging in Idol worship, when our appointed time slot with Abdul arrived, we tried vainly to go the other way by asking questions so inappropriate she'd hang up—the telephonic equivalent of an Idol contestant getting the grand kiss off from Paula, Randy and Simon. But all those years as a choreographer have taught Abdul to dance through most any interview—especially one plugging the Fox smash hit's ongoing third season.
OC Weekly: I'm just wondering how someone who's really better known for her choreography got picked to judge a singing contest.Paula Abdul: After selling 42 million records and having six No. 1 singles, I don't know how you can say that. What's going on with your singing career?
I'm doing lots of things, and all of them will reveal itself [sic] by the end of this Idol season and into the fall of next season.
Are we going to see a new Paula Abdul record?
There will be songs that are accompanying several television projects that I have sold to different networks.
What sorts of shows? Can you talk about that?
I choose not to at this time. There will be an announcement in the trades.
I don't know if it's the screen resolution onAmerican Idol or the television reception in Southern California, but you come across looking almost orange at times. Some people were saying it's your self-tanner. What do you say?
I have no idea. You should ask the lighting guy. Sometimes I think we all look like green Martians. Who knows?
Some people say they feel like Simon Cowell must be gay, but you seem to get along with him. Do you think he's hot? Do you think he's attractive?
Do you think he's hot?
Not as such.
Naw, everyone has their own tastes.
If you'd gone on something likeAmerican Idol, do you think you'd have made it to Los Angeles, if Randy and Simon were judging you?
[Laughing] I think every artist who has made it in this business has all come up to me—including Justin Timberlake, including Steve Perry, including Lionel Ritchie, including everyone—[and] we've all agreed that if reality TV and judging like this were the basis of getting into the record business, we wouldn't even try.
Abdul's handler: Moder . . . moderator, can we get on to the next call? Thank you very much.
You're welcome very much.
American Idol seems like it's on every freaking night of the week at 8 on Fox/Channel 11.
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