There are very real dangers out there in the world, and seeing the word “motherfucker” in print isn’t one of them . . . Your new website sucks. Your rag sucks. I hate you . . . Dogs don’t lie . . . people do . . . Scott Foundas’ review of The Producers reminded me of a dog with a blood-sucking tick on its ass: annoying, useless and both the world could do without . . . I can understand not liking someone, even finding them distasteful or even disappointing, but to harbor such hate of President Bush only hurts you. Hate injures your health and shows that your vision, attitude and opinion are clouded. Get over your hate and focus on the good that our troops are doing, our robust economy and the privilege of living in the greatest country in the world. You will find life is much better when you do not hate. And, to answer your question about what to do with the dog shit: EAT IT! . . . Is it just me, or does it seem like there’s no escaping Tyra Banks these days? . . . Rebecca Schoenkopf writes, “Stanton is the place the rest of us here in Orange County make fun of when we’re tired of mocking Fontana.” Just who are these other “rest of us”? I think quite a few people around Orange County would disagree with you that Stanton and Fontana are places to mock . . . Pussies . . . I am a disruptive Jew with no social graces who has spent a lifetime fouling up the quiet elegance of others. I have turned to several professional therapists to remedy this affliction, and I can proudly say that I am now rather well-compensated. I have learned to avoid social situations that might run afoul of my chronic condition. Everything was sailing along remarkably smoothly until I stumbled across Ms. Taylor’s vile comments. She is constantly doing this sort of thing, mocking the infirmities of others. I think she is a mean, nasty person . . . Are you proud of yourself now? . . . I got about halfway through Ella Taylor’s article before I had to look at who wrote it. I just knew it had to be a chick to watch all those stupid movies and then say that Sin City sucked . . . Can we clone you? . . . I’ll guarantee you that George Bush doesn’t give a flying fig about Howard Stern . . . I thought Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s definition of the word “bitch” was extremely revealing . . . Sounds like someone’s getting testosterone injections . . . I guess we’re to surmise from this that America values titty bars over taxes . . . I cracked up when I read that because a drummer once told me that, at the end of an especially good gig, he would be so spent that he’d shit his pants! Onstage! . . . Nice job crapping all over the drummer, bung-hole . . . Why are we getting closer and closer to Taliban standards? . . . Other than that, good job! . . . “To a hammer everything looks like a nail.” I might add: “To a racist, everything looks like racism” . . . I’m really disappointed in your response to my letter . . . Why must people be so lame? [Tyra Banks’] face is plastered on every magazine in the grocery store line, her TV show seems like it runs 15 times a day on four different stations, she’s in half the commercials they run on TV, and she’s on a million billboards and buses all over town . . . It was too bad you sympathized with that piece of shit! . . . Don’t you think that Nazis deserve a beating like that daily? . . . Billy Joe is a shithead and a hypocrite for using Mexican and Japanese lawyers . . . To answer your question on why Tamara Anne Moonier would claim she was gang raped when she knew there was videotape of her willingly being a reverse porcupine: because she’s fucking crazy . . . Why are the responses in the “Ask a Mexican” column always peppered with words in Spanish? . . . You are a very sad LITTLE person . . . Here we go again with another stereotypical, liberal, non-Christian, pseudo-artistic intellectual person giving an imbecile opinion about Christians . . . What an IMBECILE! . . . My brother and I have a couple of stores in Orange County, and were seriously considering advertising with you guys. But after seeing the negative cover about Jesus, you can forget it! . . . Muslim whackos, Christian whackos: they’re all the same. They live in fear . . . I’m not sorry you’re going to hell . . . You should not shame yourself by associating the name of Jesus with these mad people . . . I want a refund on my free subscription . . . There is no way to “sensationalize” sodomizing an unconscious girl with a pool stick or putting a lit cigarette in her vagina . . . It’s called morals . . . Nowhere in the article did I find any reference to Jesus killing anybody . . . Let me enumerate the things wrong with this, in increasing order of wrongness . . . Your advice to the cat with the Mexican wife who doesn’t shave herself was missing the obvious . . . I was reading the March 2 Huntington Beach Independent and found this letter from someone named Cindy Cross. I think she’s talking about you: “You should leave this kind of mean-spirited, politically motivated ‘journalism’ to that other foul-mouthed, single-point-of-view giveaway rag that comes out weekly.” But don’t worry: I still love you! . . . You’re a great writer, however, your nasty little spirit infects your