I was at one of those bars on Newport Boulevard in Costa Mesa, sitting at an empty table, eating my peanuts and drinking my IPA, when you and... More >>

Last weekend, five of us cute OC women headed to a hotel for a yummy prime-rib dinner. All was well until you three ghetto-ass people were seated... More >>

Listen, when I come from a wake for a recently deceased friend, all I want is a good stiff drink. I have the Jack; all that is needed is the... More >>

Please empty your apartment of drug-addicted vagabonds immediately. I've never met you, but I know your unwashed, half-baked houseguests well.... More >>

You were that uptight, holier-than-thou hotel phone operator who used to complain about everyone in your 2-foot radius. You got one of my best... More >>

My wife and I were walking by a local ice-cream chain when she decided she wanted to indulge in a creamy scoop. It was there that we met you: a... More >>

You were the fat, stupid bitch strolling side by side with your friend on the beach path last weekend. I was the guy pushing the stroller,... More >>

Put the cell phone on vibrate and check your messages later. I heard it ring and politely held my load, but when you answered and started... More >>

Hey, you two Fullerton College Police Academy trainees jaywalking across Berkeley Street a few days ago. Traffic is bad enough on this street... More >>

Look, I know your intentions are good. You're just trying to make a writer's life easier. But the programmer who made you is a presumptuous ass.... More >>