Hey, You!

  • Hey, You!

    You were the beautiful vision of natural blond, soft and sparkly. I was the fortysomething woman browsing through the clearance racks, cooling... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    You are the one that lies. You scam countless women into believing they really can be sexy in a velvet track suit two sizes too small. You make... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    Two days. That's how long I'd had my LA Times subscription before you—the guy who littered my Placentia apartment complex with menus from... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    The day I got my driver's license, I immediately drove to my boyfriend's house in Corona del Mar. He lived at the end of a cul-de-sac. After we... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    Yo, tree-trimmers: Remember that time I said to myself, "Hey, instead of an alarm clock, I'd like to be woken up by a chainsaw"? Oh,... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    What are you thinking, bringing your 3-year-old boy to The Bourne Ultimatum? Worse yet, why are you letting him sit and wander wherever he wants,... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    You're the fat redneck loser who loves to stack old tires on the back of your house, taking up most of the view from my deck. I'm counting 30 or... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    It's been years since it's happened, but I never apologized. So here it goes: I'm sorry to have treated you like a black man. I didn't grow up... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    You were the tough-looking Mexican guy with long hair who confronted me last weekend while I was riding my bicycle up and down the alley. "What... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    You say it's your birthday? Congrats! You're a unique individual—just like everybody else on the planet. Oh, and you're drunk, too, and you... More >>

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