Hey, You!

  • Ive Got Your Number

    Hey, you, with the expensive, ill-fitting suit and the luxury-car magazine under your arm. You are a creep. I've watched you twice now, hanging... More >>

  • Dr. Former Lover

    Illustration by Bob AulI've been with you for five years, off and on. We split up, I got married, but you couldn't live without me, so I came... More >>

  • Porn Again

    Illustration by Bob AulYou and I work for the one of the biggest Internet porn companies in the world, and I used to love my job. It pays great,... More >>

  • Boticellis Beetle

    Illustration by Bob AulFIGARO 3, April 1, a little after 3 p.m. on Harvard in Irvine. In the space of two red lights, you made me into an April... More >>

  • Sticky Buns

    Illustration by Bob AulI'm sitting there at the intersection of Commonwealth and Pomona in Fullerton, waiting to make a left turn. You're using... More >>

  • Photo Finished

    Illustration by Bob AulI was enjoying a nice dinner with my wife and five-month-old daughter at a restaurant in Costa Mesa. After ordering, I... More >>

  • Killing the Cat

    I remember the day you first brought your new Jag to my garage like the rest of the world will remember Sept. 11. You are a curse. You are my... More >>

  • Nashville

    Illustration by Bob AulAfter 10 days of sandbagging the rent, you left without warning. But you're finally gone, and good riddance. I have... More >>


    Illustration by Bob AulHang a crucifix from your rear-view mirror. Stick a cute little family of Jesus fish on the back of your giant SUV. Feel... More >>

  • Car Show

    Illustration by Bob AulAfter a hard, long day at work, I'm finally inching my way down the 55 freeway toward home, when you move your car in... More >>

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