Illustration by Bob AulYou got a heads-up a month ago when your huge dog chased my mom's 13-pound dog under a car and snagged it by the leg. But... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulTo every woman I've ever known: You are psychotic. Without your loving contributions the world might make some sense. I... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulI should have known you were a loser when you started talking marriage after a single week. I should have known that... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulI'd like to welcome you, on behalf of all the neighbors, to our quiet, clean, picturesque little Buena Park neighborhood.... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulYou have been atrocious beyond all roommates. Your obnoxiousness should earn you a place in the Roommate From Hell Hall of... More >>

Hey, you! The latest in a series of dental assistants at the creepy office next door. You have TWO bathrooms in your suite, but every day at... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulI've worked retail for years, and I know when I've spotted a thief. Case in point: you. My wife and I were in Best Buy one... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulWhen our receptionist said Mr. Big was on the phone, I dropped all current projects and immediately took the call. After... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulThis morning, I went to my favorite little café to get a bagel and coffee. As I was paying, you, the guy behind me, ordered i... More >>

Illustration by Bob AulAnd to think you were once Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. You are absolutely mental. You work in a pillow factory in Compton.... More >>