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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Hailed as one of the worst films ever made, this kitschy, insanely ridiculous 1964 flick is a favorite among campy cult lovers and those who actually remember Pia Zadora. Kidnapping children and attempting to murder Santa Claus are par for the course on Mars, where tweens are not spoiled, snotty brats and instead do their homework and uphold the high moral standards of society—which is like really, really bad. Yes, in a totally undisguised message to our Cold War-era Soviet comrades, SCCM proclaims that forcing children to be productive and well-mannered is just downright communist. Fortunately, Santa has come to teach the Martians how to free-think, free-speak and acquire cheaply made crap toys from China. It’s the Capitalist Christmas spirit tinged with green from beginning to end, so get another snootful, ya pinko bastards.
Fri., Dec. 16, 2011


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