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Paul Simon & Sting

One of these guys is really, really sexy. One of these guys is not. Both of these guys have won many awards and the hearts of millions, with the runty one being considered one of the artists whose work actually changed the world. Sorry, Sting (and Kanye). Nonetheless, promoters must have had an endless backslapping orgy when they dreamed up this team, because it definitely covers all the middle-aged ladies bases. Be prepared to see them all aglow—the ladies, not the performers—as Gordon Sumner and Paul Simon remind us of the days when top male singers did not rap about hoes and being filthy rich, or throw eggs at people’s houses, or wear Beetlejuice suits and hump children at awards shows. Paul Simon might be a prick by most accounts, but at least he always kept it in his pants. Or in Carrie Fisher. But that’s a whole other show.
Sun., Feb. 16, 8 p.m., 2014

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