Best Tourist Attraction Orange County 2013 - Pirate's Dinner Adventure
7600 Beach Blvd.
Buena Park, CA 90620
Disneyland would seem to be the obvious choice for the elite scum who can afford the $82-to-$92-per-person tab (completely ignoring the cost of food, drink, parking, blah blah blah added on top of that), but we decline to join that crowd. Mostly because we hate standing in lines . . . and we're freaking poor. Just down the freeway in Buena Park is Pirate's Dinner Adventure, half the price (even cheaper if you search the Internet), food included, and its show is set on "an authentically replicated 18th-century Spanish galleon measuring 46 feet long, 18 feet wide with 40-foot masts," in a "300,000-gallon indoor lagoon," enhanced with "night sky lighting." If you want to take an active role in your entertainment, you can participate as a character; cheer on your team as it battles Captain Sebastian the Black (whom we assume is the bad guy); or just couch potato it, as you sit back, stuff your face and bask in all the arrggghh-y action. Have a pirate fetish or simply wish to confront class issues and wear costumes flaunting Elizabethan Sumptuary Laws? You and your motley crew may attend dressed in your own velvets and crimsons, bandannas, waistcoats, breeches, and stockings. And did we mention there's a sea dragon?