Animals are great—until you're confronted with the prospect of feeding one. Disgruntled, dirty and ravenous, petting-zoo animals are some of the most pitiable creatures at any zoo (and that includes the guy who mucks out the elephant pen). Though the urge to play with something fluffy may intensify with all that bud in your system, the petting zoo isn't exactly primo stoner real estate: There are kids, parents and poop everywhere. Plus, after that goat's suffered about an hour of having some snot-nosed brat wave a food pellet just out of his reach—like that time someone put your Cap'n Crunch in the top cabinet—your pants may start to look like a viable food alternative.