Best Place to Stay Cool Without Getting Sand In Your Ass - 2009
Wild Rivers - CLOSED
Sure, the Lazy River water-to-urine ratio probably inches dangerously to the undesirable side, but it's a great place to go during the summer if you're not in the mood to deal with seaweed, sand anywhere and everywhere, and the possibility of getting mauled by a seal. And yes, the lines can be a bit absurd, but there's nothing quite like the Bazooka Bowls, in which one can experience exactly what it's like to be flushed down a toilet. Plus, the convenience of a pseudo-boardwalk with eateries beats the hell out of lugging a cooler through the sand or shooing seagulls away from a homemade sandwich. This beloved place of H20 and gravity worship has been on the Irvine Co.'s chopping block for the past several years, so enjoy it while it's still here.