If you haven’t heard of the Goat, then you don’t know shit about beer. But don’t worry. Just close your eyes and point, then order confidently. This place has more than 140 of the most obscure beers you could imagine on tap, and it’s doubtful that most of its patrons could tell a Rogue Brutal Bitter from a Deschutes Black Butte Porter. You can take your taste buds down a wet-and-wild ride by ordering up something different every time, and you’ll never run the gamut of what’s available. The place, decorated in a crazy junkyard-chic motif, is a spellbinding, visually cluttered Willy Wonka’s drunk factory for locals. So you’d better be serious about your suds: Within one second of entering, you’ll be gut-checked by a musty funk of urine, vomit and stale beer. You’ll soon forget it under the cloud of cigarette smoke as the bar’s back “porch” is integrated so well with the bar it feels just like . . . well, people smoking in a bar. Most pints go for $4.50 apiece, and pitchers usually hover near the $16 mark.