There is a severely enforced and unwritten law of the California board of tourism that there must be at least one person in the Pacific Ocean at all times. Since surfers will do anything to the point of poverty to be in the water, they have become the minions of this government money-making scheme. Because of the severity of punishment, there is someone surfing at the best surf spots in California—all except one, the one the old salty nuts speak about but only amongst themselves unless given truth serum or pure MDMA. There are no parking meters. No fights. No crowds. No pollution. No kooks. No kids. No spongers. It holds any swell in any direction, and it's perpetually glassy and offshore. The sharks are well-fed. There are cold coolers of beer, and the bonfires burn with no curfew. Half-naked guys and girls bask in the sun, cheering every wave you catch. You don't even need a wetsuit. Our lives are now marked having told you this—who's there knocking at our door? We may not be alive when this publishes, but we'll disclose the spot for the sake of humanity. The best surf spot in Orange County is . . . “In Your Dreams.” Okay, fine: We'll give it to the Wedge. Enjoy!