2010 Stories by GUSTAVO ARELLANO

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  • Which Came First: The Panocha or the Panocha?

    published July 29, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: As an old gringo who calls himself a gringo (not a gabacho),... More >>

  • More Mormon Mexicans?!?

    published July 22, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN:I heard Mormonism is a quickly spreading religion down in ye olde Mexico. What is it about this religion... More >>

  • Cooling Off At Mariscos Mocorito

    published July 22, 2010

    What is it with great Mexican seafood restaurants picking horrible locations in Orange? The second location of Ostionería Bahía... More >>

  • Dump the Pendejo Already

    published July 15, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: Most Mexicans I know (myself included) feel it’s terribly disrespectful to keep old photos around... More >>


    What's a Little Marriage Fraud Between Amigos?

    published July 8, 2010

    The names of the couples in this story have been changed to protect their identities.If Juan and Juana were going to stage a... More >>

  • Gabacha Fiesta Queens?

    published July 8, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I’m a (poor) white girl myself, but I have to ask: What’s the deal with all the rich white... More >>

  • Gustavo's Poetry Corner

    published July 1, 2010

    DEAR READERS: Arizona’s pendejos have emboldened hundreds of Know Nothings in the past week to boast to the... More >>

  • No Amor for Landon Donovan

    published June 24, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: Why do the Mexicans HATE American soccer and “hate” (bolded, underlined and italicized)... More >>

  • Special Douche Edition

    published June 17, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I’m a civil-rights lawyer. I sue the San Diego Minutemen. Whenever the Minutemen are accused... More >>

  • Dicking Around With Mexican Curse Words

    published June 10, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I worked a summer job during college in the late 1960s in southern Arizona, where most of my co-workers... More >>

  • Have a DREAM

    published June 3, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I work at a high school where there are a significant number of students without papers. Two students... More >>

  • A DREAM Act Undeterred

    published May 27, 2010

    A Monday-afternoon drive from Santa Ana to UCLA is brutal no matter what route drivers take; construction near the school’s Interstate... More >>

  • Special Ethnic-Studies Edition

    published May 27, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I have a sister. I read your column each time it comes out in the Tucson... More >>

  • Know Nothings Earn Their Title

    published May 20, 2010

    DEAR READERS: In the past couple of weeks, the Know Nothing nation has invaded my inbox with the question of why the United States can’t... More >>

  • Mexican-Hatin' is Sweeping the Nation!

    published May 13, 2010

    Dear Readers: I was supposed to deliver this column to ustedes for Cinco de Drinko, but Arizona’s reprehensible... More >>

  • Special Arizona Buycott Edition

    published May 6, 2010

    DEAR READERS: All together, now: ¡A LA CHINGADA WITH ARIZONA’S SB 1070! For those of... More >>


    Mi Casa Es Mi Casa

    published May 6, 2010

    For years, the sons and daughters of Alex Bernal smiled and sighed and nodded their heads in weary agreement whenever their elderly father... More >>

  • Iceback-Spotting?

    published April 29, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I live in a Northeastern city, and a game I play with myself during the cold, wintry months is counting... More >>

  • NarcoTunes

    published April 29, 2010

    Horrible news, cabrones: The annual Cinco de Mayo show for Manic Hispanic—those OGs of OC punk who wabbify punk classics to... More >>

  • The King of the Wall

    published April 22, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I have a friend who frequently wears a T-shirt that boldly states in big, bad-ass, Old English letters,... More >>

  • Lo Menos Macho

    published April 15, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I’ve dated a few Mexican girls in the past couple of years, and I’ve realized one big, important... More >>

  • The Census in Spanish Rhymes With Denso

    published April 8, 2010

    DEAR MEXICAN: I know that Mexicans and pochos can be black, white, Asian and indios, but I just got... More >>

  • Chago Ahogadas: Drown Your Taste Buds

    published April 8, 2010

    Is this column prophetic? Just a couple of weeks ago, in a dispatch praising a Mexico City-style restaurant, I closed the review with a swipe... More >>

  • ¿Ask a Minuteman?

    published April 1, 2010

    DEAR READERS: In honor of April Fools’ Day, I turn this column over to Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project movement, to... More >>

  • Hen House Grill's Chicken, Persian-Style

    published April 1, 2010

    It’s a bold move to open an Iranian restaurant in Irvine next to Wholesome Choice, the garden of grocery delights whose buffet beats most of... More >>

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