rss Email Author ANONYMOUS

2011 Stories by ANONYMOUS

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  • Foot-In-Mouth Disease

    published June 30, 2011

    Husband and me: sitting quietly in a dimly lit room enjoying a reflexology massage at our local foot-massage spa in Brea. You:... More >>

  • A Double-Double, Twilight Zone-Style

    published June 23, 2011

    You are the redhaired woman waiting for her order at the Placentia In-N-Out. I was eating at a nearby table, deep in thought. You rushed over... More >>

  • Grandma's Wild Ride

    published June 16, 2011

    To the 80ish (or high-mileage 70ish) woman driving the big Lincoln in the Stater Bros. parking lot at Brea and Bastanchury in Fullerton: Why... More >>

  • Litterbugger Off!

    published June 9, 2011

    I was walking my dog in a Huntington Beach park on a Saturday when your young son casually tossed his Styrofoam drink cup in the grass. I... More >>

  • All In la Familia

    published June 2, 2011

    This goes out to a certain Mexican restaurant. I took my damn time to go for an interview, and you acted all nice, telling me I would get... More >>

  • What This World Needs Now

    published May 26, 2011

    I just want to acknowledge the group of people who brought food and drinks to the homeless people this morning in Long Beach. I saw you guys as... More >>

  • Honk If You Hate Lazy Cyclists

    published May 19, 2011

    This is going out to the group of guys on bikes in Long Beach on a recent Friday afternoon: How about using the newly constructed bike... More >>

  • Bumper Crap

    published May 12, 2011

    I had my car parked at the Lab this bright Wednesday morning, and for some reason, you chose to park your white car next to mine. Given the... More >>

  • A New Leash On Life

    published May 5, 2011

    I was just finishing one of the most incredible hikes of my lifetime on Easter Sunday in Black Star Canyon. Then your unleashed dog came after... More >>

  • That's Just How We Roll

    published April 28, 2011

    To the toad who drove by and honked as I was sitting on the South Street offramp with my hazards on: Do you think your impatient honking will... More >>

  • Boarderline Personalities

    published April 21, 2011

    You're the two knuckleheads who were surfing the pier last weekend. But calling what you were doing "surfing" would make the great Duke... More >>

  • Cat Burglars

    published April 14, 2011

    You are the movers who always do a fantastic job packing, loading and unloading my antiques and art. I'm not sure which one of you spotted and... More >>

  • Beware the Meathead

    published April 7, 2011

    We left your bar on the north side of El Camino in San Clemente after you—a bald, 'roided-out bouncer—proceeded to help yourself to... More >>

  • The Light! It Burns!

    published March 31, 2011

    Enjoy your VIP box at the Edwardian Ball? I really have to wonder. Just why did you have to visit your Facebook page every five damn minutes? I... More >>

  • The Old Bait-and-Channel-Switch

    published March 24, 2011

    To the 20ish guy on Bushard Street in Huntington Beach last Saturday around noon: If you're going to tell your friends about wanting a "used... More >>

  • Fuelish Behavior

    published March 17, 2011

    I ran out of gas and walked a block to get some more at the Arco station off Katella and State College Boulevard in Anaheim. You were the... More >>

  • Public Service Without a Smile

    published March 10, 2011

    You are the very short owner of a local restaurant. I hear you are the mayor again, too. Even if you didn't depend on the public for an income,... More >>

  • Go Dump Yourself

    published March 3, 2011

    I was the dump-truck driver in Laguna, hauling mud and debris from the canyon during the recent rains. You were the yuppie fuck in the BMW X5... More >>

  • Doing the Do-Right Thing

    published February 24, 2011

    You were the three young people sitting on the curb of Pacific Avenue in Long Beach on a Friday night, and I was the man who, while hurriedly... More >>

  • Catch and Release That Bass!

    published February 17, 2011

    You're the guy who wandered into our apartment complex, smashed the rear window of my wife's car and stole her Rickenbacker bass at 5 a.m. We... More >>

  • Cart Attack!

    published February 10, 2011

    My husband and I were the next in a very long line at the only open register at Smart & Final. You were the last person in that same line. When... More >>

  • Race Skater

    published February 3, 2011

    You were the asshole who was with (I assume) your daughter at Fountain Valley Skating Center on New Year's Eve. I noticed the little girl you... More >>

  • Bah! Hum-bus!

    published January 27, 2011

    You were that Orange County Transit Authority bus driver who had to be cold and rude to me when I was helping my friend find a connecting bus. I... More >>

  • Buzzed Big Spender

    published January 20, 2011

    Dear idiot who came into the tattoo shop piss-face drunk on a Tuesday at 6 p.m., blabbering about some ridiculous tattoo you were thinking... More >>

  • Miracle on La Paz Road

    published January 13, 2011

    I was in a hurry. It was very early. I was leaving to go on a long road trip to Baja just before Christmas. I’d gotten as far as San... More >>

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