rss Email Author ANONYMOUS

2010 Stories by ANONYMOUS

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  • Graduation On the Rocks

    published July 1, 2010

    I’ve been putting myself through college, so I’m really not able to spend a lot of money on me. However, since I’m finally... More >>

  • There Goes the Ol' Security Deposit

    published June 24, 2010

    You moved in so I could save some money on rent. It hasn’t even been a month yet, and the shower head is broken—along with the... More >>

  • Lax Morality

    published June 17, 2010

    Yeah, you, the one (or group) who went around our neighborhood last Saturday night smashing mailboxes and streetlamps. Thanks for ruining a... More >>

  • Not-So-Special Delivery

    published June 10, 2010

    When you cheerily say, “You did such a good job; the food is so good—thank you!” when I put your food out, I really believe... More >>

  • I'm So Sorry to Hear About Your Penis

    published June 3, 2010

    You were the driver of the big crane on the freeway early in the morning who forced numerous cars to swerve out of your way when you made a... More >>

  • No Frozen Yogurt? That's Cold

    published May 27, 2010

    You might not think it to look at me, but I am losing my house that I have worked my whole life for because it is going into foreclosure. Last... More >>

  • Not-So-Private Parts

    published May 20, 2010

    Yeah, you, the naked lady at the gym. I suppose in this day and age, when nobody gives a damn about privacy and people live their lives on the... More >>

  • You Sure Can Pick 'Em

    published May 13, 2010

    So, I was riding on the bus. Had a comfy front two-seater and my backpack, lunch, sweat shirt and water all neatly arranged around me. You sat... More >>

  • You've Got to Be Kidding

    published May 6, 2010

    You’re the mall owner/development company that thought ripping out the kiddie ride would be “progress.” We’re the... More >>

  • Bassackwards

    published April 29, 2010

    You are the rapscallion who continues to leave your scatological mark on the edge of the toilet seat in our gentlemen’s room. I have... More >>

  • Finger-lickin' Bad

    published April 22, 2010

    You were the stupid, self-absorbed woman standing in front of me at the salad bar. Despite signs urging customers not to eat in line, you... More >>

  • Drop and Run

    published April 15, 2010

    Many thanks to the guy in the red, Dodge Magnum fleet car who rammed into me at the Jet Blue drop point at Long Beach Airport at 12:15 p.m.... More >>

  • Foul Behavior

    published April 8, 2010

    You’re the obnoxious parent who threatened a coach at the youth baseball game, then broke the phone of the parent who called the police.... More >>

  • Go Cook Yourselves!

    published April 1, 2010

    To the five annoying women who every Friday morning invade the small, modest restaurant I work at, rain or shine: You collectively manage to... More >>

  • Night Rider

    published March 25, 2010

    You were the crazy old bat in the wheelchair who nearly mowed down me and my family. We had just come from an evening of family entertainment,... More >>

  • Chatty Gym Rat

    published March 18, 2010

    You are the DB at the gym that I see every day at 6 a.m. We notice when you aren’t there because, for you, it’s apparently all a... More >>

  • That's Just How We Stroll

    published March 11, 2010

    To the rude woman who ran over my foot with her kid’s 100-pound stroller at Kohl’s: There is such a thing as right of way.... More >>

  • It's Bring Your Invisible Friend to Work Day!

    published March 4, 2010

    You were my boss, a Christian Fundamentalist. Not only do I not believe in any gods (the Christian one or others), but I also don’t want... More >>

  • Trail Her Trash

    published February 25, 2010

    This is to the dumb blonde in the car in front of me at the drive-through lane for a chicken restaurant on Long Beach Boulevard. You seemed... More >>

  • Super Pooper-Scooper

    published February 18, 2010

    You’re the woman I saw early one morning walking the dog that looks like a cross between a Shetland pony and a mangy bear. Unless you had... More >>

  • Filming My Butt Is No Joke

    published February 11, 2010

    To the fanny filmer at Trader Joe’s: Technology is a great thing. In fact, I used it to find YOU. If I ever see you with your camera... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] The Accidental Philanthropist

    published February 4, 2010

    Actually, I am not even sure who you are, but if you are reading this and you lost a $10 bill at the District in Tustin on Jan. 17, I just want... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Lame Change

    published January 28, 2010

    Lame ChangeSo Long Beach just recently changed a former driving lane into a bike lane, and I admit that I was... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Afternoon De-lush

    published January 21, 2010

    You know, working in stores that carry liquor along with food sucks enough without the retard who gets off work around 3 p.m. (still wearing... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Home Creepo

    published January 14, 2010

    You’re the creep who parked your car right next to mine in the deserted Home Depot parking lot early one morning. As I approached my car,... More >>

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