rss Email Author ANONYMOUS

2010 Stories by ANONYMOUS

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  • Holiday Taco Karma

    published December 30, 2010

    My favorite taco joint in East Anaheim has an awkward drive-through approach that often causes a “who’s really next in line”... More >>

  • Tacos By Twilight

    published December 23, 2010

    Dear ultra-cool tween girls who frequent the restaurant I work at: Thank you for splurging on our 99-cent-taco special by purchasing one taco... More >>

  • A Left Turn for the Worse

    published December 16, 2010

    You were waiting to make a left turn into the plaza at Talbern Street, next to Taco Bell. I was about to cross—when it was perfectly fine... More >>

  • If It Doesn't Fit, Don't Have a Fit

    published December 9, 2010

    To the type-A personality in the Fountain Valley Costco parking lot who was getting his car towed: Driving a large RV in crowded OC parking... More >>

  • A Vision of Helpfulness

    published December 2, 2010

    I never met you, but I am so grateful. It was dark, and I was driving to the 99 Cent store in Brea, and I was in a hurry. I took off my... More >>

  • A Not-So-Sweet Solicitation for the Troops

    published November 25, 2010

    It’s not that I mind donating my kid’s leftover Halloween candy to the troops in Afghanistan. But when you finish your flier with... More >>

  • Say It With Middle Fingers

    published November 18, 2010

    Dear flower-delivery guy: Sorry I was trying to merge onto the highway early Sunday morning. I guess it warranted you practically running me... More >>

  • The White Witch Gets Served

    published November 11, 2010

    You were the blonde with fake boobs and a dark spray tan who gave our Latino waiter a hard time during his lunch shift. When he tried to get... More >>

  • A Rhetorical Paddling

    published November 4, 2010

    Hey, “standup paddler”—or “SUP”or, what I prefer, “stupid unedgemicated peckerhead”: For years, we... More >>

  • Your Fumes Are the Pits!

    published October 28, 2010

    To the guy in the Tustin LA Fitness locker room this past week: I appreciate your wanting to smell good, but please lose the spray deodorant. I... More >>

  • It's Raining Poop! Hallelujah!

    published October 21, 2010

    Dear idiotic, alcoholic, unemployed, unkempt, rude new neighbors who think your back yard is a tavern: When you woke me up at 2:15 a.m. for the... More >>

  • Parking Wars

    published October 7, 2010

    You were the middle-aged bleached-blond bimbo in the black Lincoln Navigator in Belmont Shore. We were far behind you when you decided to back... More >>

  • At San Onofre State Beach, These Old Guys Are Tools

    published September 30, 2010

    You are the septuagenarian codgers who regulate traffic coming in and out of San Onofre State Beach. After I pay $15 just to surf there, I then... More >>

  • Drowning Your Sorrows

    published September 23, 2010

    Okay, I get the fact that your ex-boyfriend died more than six months ago, and everyone grieves differently—but really, honey, the big... More >>

  • Parking-Space Cadet

    published September 16, 2010

    I was trying to secure a metered parking space near the Newport pier on July 4. Like a vulture circling the scene, I asked some dude if he was... More >>

  • Dreading the Noise

    published September 9, 2010

    I hired a reggae band for my pool party on the Fourth of July weekend. As a responsible and considerate neighbor, I informed all my neighbors... More >>

  • You Are a Loser Because You Have Tattoos!

    published September 2, 2010

    To the blond circus freak pushing a stroller in Anaheim: You didn’t seem to care for me using the crosswalk while I was riding my... More >>

  • Hit-and-Run On a Dog

    published August 26, 2010

    I was a bystander when you hit that dog with your car on Heil Avenue. I didn’t see it, but I heard it: The loud thud-crack-HOWL!... More >>

  • Harsh Toke, Dude

    published August 19, 2010

    Mr. Professional Medical-Marijuana-Dispensary Owner/Operator: Your dispensary sold my friend hashish “capsules,” which are designed... More >>

  • Dipshit Dentist

    published August 12, 2010

    To the surly dentist who stopped working on someone’s teeth to tell me I had no right to want to reschedule my appointment, for which you... More >>

  • Elder Abuser

    published August 5, 2010

    Yeah, you, the forty-something punk who attacked a sixty-something man in front of Don Jose’s. You didn’t expect the grayhair to... More >>

  • In Sarama We Trust

    published July 29, 2010

    I apologize to the guy on the black motorcycle whom I almost ran into at the LA/OC border. Honest to God, I didn’t see you, and I’m... More >>

  • Not Dead Yet

    published July 22, 2010

    You’re the woman on Pine Avenue and Sixth in Long Beach whose dog (which was not a leash) was hit by a car. Instead of rushing to its... More >>

  • Cutting Remarks

    published July 15, 2010

    To the blond, foulmouthed mother in the silver F-150. Thank you for screaming obscenities at me while I tried to apologize to you. I... More >>

  • These Tenants Have Had Their Fill

    published July 8, 2010

    You’re the slumlord who, for years, has had little or no regard for his tenants. Because our complex has a relaxed atmosphere with few... More >>

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