Email Author ANONYMOUS

2009 Stories by ANONYMOUS

• [Hey, You!] Tipped Off

  published December 31, 2009

  To all those doughnut luggers, coffee stirrers, bagel benders, ice-cream scoopers and the rest of you who put a tip jar on the counter: You... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Friendly Frogger

  published December 24, 2009

  Thank you, mystery guy, for stopping on the freeway to pick up my saddle bags and spare helmet that had fallen off of my motorcycle earlier... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Billy the Kidder

  published December 17, 2009

  I know you and your brother are little and probably very excited about flying to Orange County with Grandma and Grandpa. It’s fun to go... More >>

• [Hey. You!] Go, Dog, Go!

  published December 10, 2009

  You were the lady at the Costa Mesa High School track a couple of months ago who had three dogs with her on a Saturday night. I was the guy... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Half-Cocked

  published December 3, 2009

  You were the college-educated idiot sitting on the balcony of the apartment building across the street from mine, shooting your pellet gun at... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Turd Whisperer

  published November 26, 2009

  You are the guy in the next stall who made me realize life in an office building can be full of surprises. I had just settled in when I heard... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Stadium Angel

  published November 19, 2009

  You were the guy who stopped my buddy and me from buying tickets at Game 3 of the Angels playoff series, leading to one of the greatest days... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Broken Spokes

  published November 12, 2009

  On a recent Friday at 5 p.m., I was riding my bike through the intersection at Via Lido and Balboa Boulevard, heading toward the beach.... More >>

• [Hey, You!] U-Idiot

  published November 5, 2009

  You’re the thirtysomething man driving your company’s work truck. Seeing as how you’re actually paid to drive, I’m... More >>

• [Hey, You!] She's Crafty! She's Always a Downer!

  published October 29, 2009

  You’re the big, fat, evil jewelry vendor at the Seal Beach Arts and Crafts Faire. Next time someone comes by asking you questions about... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Dud, Where's My Seat?

  published October 22, 2009

  My friend and I arrived during the previews to a nearly full theater. You and your friend were seated with an empty seat on each side of you. I... More >>

• [Hey, You!] You're Such a Member!

  published October 15, 2009

  I was one of the two people who stood behind you at Costco while you returned a blatantly used and damaged table, a microwave used then taped... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Asswipes

  published October 1, 2009

  I was the six-months-pregnant lady looking forward to walking the hills in Fairview Park. You were the likely adolescent hooligans who had... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Nice One, Sparky

  published September 24, 2009

  I was driving down the 55 freeway when I saw you, driving a newer Beetle, with one of those fireman’s hat stickers that firemen or their... More >>

• [Hey, You!] That's 'Brunch' to You, A-Hole

  published September 17, 2009

  You were the guy standing with a woman in the front of Sunny’s restaurant on Beach Boulevard in Huntington Beach during their... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Joy to the World

  published September 10, 2009

  This is to the San Juan Capistrano salon owner who gave my wife and 9-month-old daughter the stink-eye when our baby felt the sudden urge to... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Were You Raised In a Barn?

  published September 3, 2009

  You’re that girlfriend of mine who likes to shit with the door open and talk loud. Calling me closer to the door to talk isn’t a... More >>

• [Hey, You!] He Really Smoked That Ball

  published August 27, 2009

  Wife and I get a sitter to watch our child on a Saturday so we can play some golf. It’s a gorgeous day. We get paired up with you and... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Free to Be You and Me

  published August 20, 2009

  To the Muslim dad who glared at me because I kept watching his prepubescent daughter: I’m not a pervert. But watching your daughter... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Yet Another Reason to Hate the Bus

  published August 6, 2009

  You were the other white guy traveling on the bus with me and an old man who was embarrassing us both with his “anti-Mexican”... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Giddy Up, Gideon!

  published July 30, 2009

  You are the Gideon member who placed a Bible in our room or, at the very least, sent a shipment of Bibles to the hotel where we stayed to... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Poolside Mammaries

  published July 23, 2009

  You were the tits-on-a-stick at the community pool this weekend who accosted my wife, her sisters and our children while they played a game in... More >>

• [Hey, You!] It Takes a Big Ass to Know One

  published July 16, 2009

  You were the lovely gentleman in the silver car on Harbor Boulevard who decided to yell at me while hanging outside your passenger window that... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Disconnected

  published July 9, 2009

  Hey, you—rolling up in an expensive car in a nice suit, walking into my Orange electronics store at 8 Friday night. You followed your... More >>

• [Hey, You!] Sing for Your Sucker

  published July 2, 2009

  Hey, you, Mr. Bar & Grill Manager: You acted like you were glad to see me show up to play music on Friday nights. You allowed me to have a... More >>