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2008 Stories by ANONYMOUS

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  • [Hey, You!] It's Time to Say Sayonara . . .

    published May 29, 2008

    I've been eating at your sushi bar for years, have recommended it to many people. You guys know me and my friend—we're the guys who come... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

    published May 22, 2008

    What part of "I don't like you" prompted you to show up at my door with a bottle of wine last night? I thought I was being quite clear when I... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Chop Phooey

    published May 15, 2008

    Hey, tattoo guy! All I wanted was a tattoo of a pair of drumsticks. We Googled the exact make and model in two minutes, but you took 90 minutes... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] What a Wickhead

    published May 8, 2008

    To the hipster-artist scum whose party I attended: I'm sure for you and your ilk that using the tall, saint-adorned votive candles as... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Bathroom-Stall Standoff

    published May 1, 2008

    You were the young, unsuspecting girl who forgot to lock the door of the public-restroom stall. You looked about 15—an already-awkward... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Yes, We Have No Banana Republics

    published April 24, 2008

    I was the overworked, overeducated sales associate for the multinational power-hungry retail company. You are the evil Irvine... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] The Human Sty

    published April 17, 2008

    I'd love to thank the thoughtless swine that sits in the Orange Circle smoking his nasty cigar and littering the ground with his peanut shells!... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Puppy Patrol

    published April 10, 2008

    To the five of you who helped to save a terrified little dog from getting run over on the 55 yesterday, thank you for reminding me that really... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Recreational Habit

    published April 3, 2008

    I work at a pharmaceutical-research company, whose employees can come into work any time before 9 a.m. Many arrive before 8 a.m. and stay until... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Push It Real Good

    published March 27, 2008

    I was the lady in the car zipping down Dyer Road in Santa Ana when a frail old lady in a wheelchair, too weak to wheel herself across the... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] A Ticket for Your Thoughtfulness

    published March 20, 2008

    You were the cop in plain clothes who showed up for a young kid's traffic trial. The crime? He allegedly "obstructed traffic" when he slowed... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're Trying to Kill Me

    published March 13, 2008

    You were the asinine, G.W. Bush-loving, right-wing fascist a-hole on the 55 freeway who wanted to run my Prius off the road for simply... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] A Galaxy Far, Far Away

    published March 6, 2008

    Goodnight and R.I.P., Galaxy Theatre! You will be missed by many. You gave us a place to enjoy many of our favorite bands from the past and... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Diss-neyland

    published February 28, 2008

    I was at Disneyland playing with my 5-year-old daughter on Pirate's Lair. There was an 8-ish-looking little boy playing with a wheel pulley. My... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Sexytime Panties

    published February 21, 2008

    Several months ago, I grabbed a pair of black-cotton short panties while picking up a few things at the store. I thought they would be... More >>

  • [Hey, You!] Bio Blunder

    published February 14, 2008

    To all the participants, organizers and spectators of the Pacific Shoreline Marathon in Huntington Beach: I hope you enjoyed your little race... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    published February 7, 2008

    When I first learned that you planted your skanky lips on my husband after the office Christmas party, all I wanted to do was kick your ass.... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    published January 31, 2008

    I lightly bumped your car with my car when we were making right turns in Huntington Beach. I was not paying full attention due to being... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    published January 17, 2008

    Dear Sheriff Mark Corona (name changed to protect his identity): Why don't you just step down? Do you really think that you have the... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    published January 10, 2008

    I was behind you, stopped in rush-hour traffic on a packed city street. What you did rendered me speechless. You got out of your car and picked... More >>

  • Hey, You!

    published January 3, 2008

    You were the fat guy in the red suit at the local mall a few weekends ago, sitting on a couch surrounded by fake presents and tinsel-draped... More >>

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