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2001 Stories by ANONYMOUS

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  • Rhyme Schemer

    published December 27, 2001

    A tender poem about how much you suck More >>

  • Dating Lessons for Dorks

    published December 20, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulPark rangers have more important duties to attend to than pulling your 1999 sable-colored Toyota Camry from the rising... More >>

  • Mousetown Schools

    published December 13, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulIt's this community's misfortune that one of its school administrators can't handle diversity. You fired me because I... More >>

  • Traffic

    published November 29, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulMy husband, son and I go down to TJ to shop. We drive our car over the border as we always do—except this time my... More >>

  • Roach Motel Casanova

    published November 22, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulMy friends and I met you and your friends at the Block at Orange. You seemed like cool guys, and you invited us to kick... More >>

  • Man Bites Snake

    published November 15, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulI guess you enjoy taking your all-terrain bikes anywhere they're permitted. God knows there's no place on the streets to... More >>

  • No Beer Here

    published November 8, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSo it's Friday night, and me and my friends are hanging out in Anaheim Hills of all places. All we wanted was a little... More >>

  • Human Speed Bump

    published October 18, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulIt was a strange day in the office. One of our employees got sick, supersick, and the paramedics were called in. So two... More >>

  • Mommie Fiercest

    published October 11, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulI was standing there in line at Sav-On with my hands full, thinking about dinner. That's when I heard that loud... More >>

  • Belly Ache

    published October 4, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Gas Bag

    published September 20, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulYour ignorance was astounding. The entire nation was still in shock without a specific group or person to finger for the... More >>

  • Flat Cat

    published September 13, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • The Bird

    published September 6, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Angry Granny

    published September 6, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Im Not Laughing Yet

    published August 30, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulI was surfing Salt Creek one hot afternoon, a few rip currents churning up the shallow sandbars. The lifeguards had been... More >>

  • Hey, God!

    published August 23, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulThanks for ruining my love life. I happen to believe that Your son was a longhaired, radical, socialist Jew, and so does... More >>

  • Thank You, Mr. Rock Star, and Good Night!

    published August 16, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulHey, you, Tattooed Love Boy. You know who you are: OC player, industry jackass. I have loved you for... More >>

  • I got these

    published August 9, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent... More >>

  • Outta Control Disco!

    published August 2, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulTo the asshole usher who said, "This is not a joke!" as you escorted my friends and me out of the reserved... More >>

  • Blood Simple

    published July 26, 2001

    Illustrations by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent... More >>

  • Congenital Asshole

    published July 19, 2001

    Ilustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Ingratuity

    published July 12, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Pink-Slip Wedding

    published July 5, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

  • Phish Smell

    published June 28, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulYou and your silly grin, your worn Phish T-shirts and those hardly there, black flip-flops. You and your drunken habits,... More >>

  • Help Me, Jesus!

    published June 21, 2001

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and... More >>

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