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2014 Stories by ANONYMOUS

Archives: 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999
  • Hey, You! Dive of a Lifetime

    published November 27, 2014

    You were the huge shape about 5 feet from me, moving so calmly through the water that I first thought you were a shark about to put me on the... More >>

  • Hey, You! Judge Not, Lest Jesus Be Disappointed

    published November 20, 2014

    You are the Bible-thumping older lady I met at work whom I mistakenly tried to befriend. You thought I was in desperate need of guidance, and... More >>

  • Hey, You! You Get What You Need

    published November 13, 2014

    You were the hot mess of a co-worker I had to work with for more than a year. You never had the aptitude for the job, took credit for my work... More >>

  • Hey, You! Walking While Asian

    published November 6, 2014

    Hey, you: the bald, middle-aged, douchey asswipe who yelled at me, a young Asian female, when I accidentally walked through your construction... More >>

  • Hey, You! Mind the Chair, Please

    published October 30, 2014

    You are the wasted middle-aged blonde dripping all over your f'd-up male companion with a broken arm at Swallow's Inn on the afternoon of Sept.... More >>

  • Hey, You! Hide Your Droner

    published October 23, 2014

    You're the pilot of the droning white plane that practices stunt flying over Caspers Wilderness Park in the afternoon while I am trying to... More >>

  • Hey, You! Polyamorous Pussy

    published October 16, 2014

    You are the whiny white guy in your early thirties I met last year on a free online dating site who tried to suck me into a polyamorous... More >>

  • Hey, You! I Called You for Legal Advice . . . How Dare You Question Me?

    published October 2, 2014

    You are the condescending, bitchy female lawyer who answered the phone after I was referred to your Orange County firm by another for a... More >>

  • Breaking Glass

    published September 25, 2014

    While I was watching my daughter's swim lesson, your little boy knocked over my water cup with his toy truck. The cup fell to the ground and... More >>

  • ANONYMOUS

    Beat It

    published September 18, 2014

    You are the sick person who puts your used condoms in other peoples' mailboxes! Is that how you get off, you beat-off artist at large? You... More >>

  • Inconvenient MC

    published September 11, 2014

    You were the rapper who got mad when I didn't want to buy your CD for $5 outside a 7-Eleven in Fullerton. I left the store toting a bag of... More >>

  • You're Not Jehovah

    published September 4, 2014

    You're the guy dressed as a security guard who knocked on our door in Fullerton the other evening. White, 40s, receding light hair. White... More >>

  • Another Methy Situation

    published August 28, 2014

    You are a meth and heroin addict who dated my husband long ago. You milked him for a ton of money, a car and a ton of his stuff. And now, more... More >>

  • Señor Rita

    published August 21, 2014

    You are the fellow who rode a bike with a girly basket to the back of the Target center, crouched behind the shrubs, then shouted at the top of... More >>

  • You're a Complete Meth

    published August 14, 2014

    You are a meth addict who steals and lies. Okay, so your dad replaced my hair stuff, makeup and clothes you stole. But he can NEVER make up for... More >>

  • So Long, Pedo Bear

    published August 7, 2014

    I know you must remember me. I definitely remember you. I was sipping cocktails on the back patio of Steamers when you walked by. We couldn't... More >>

  • At Least You Weren't Driving

    published July 31, 2014

    I was at the Fullerton Transportation Center talking to my homeless friend around midnight on June 3. We had just attended the Fullerton City... More >>

  • Jabba the Boss

    published July 24, 2014

    For a so-called "boss," you're a dick. By your trying to trip me or punch me, even throwing stuff at me, while I'm in your employ, you're... More >>

  • When Nature Comes A-Knocking

    published July 17, 2014

    You're the hostess at the "upscale" pizza lounge in downtown Huntington Beach who refused my granddaughter access to the restroom since they're... More >>

  • Baker, Baker, Bake Me a Cake

    published July 10, 2014

    You're the baker who didn't want to make the penis cakes for my fiancee's bachelorette party, citing your Christian beliefs. You know the... More >>

  • Coyote Beautiful

    published July 3, 2014

    You're the coyote who is being hunted by all the pet owners in my neighborhood. I first heard of you from several fellow dog-walkers who,... More >>

  • Food's On Me

    published June 26, 2014

    I was in line at Bruce's Produce the other day, and you were the random guy who volunteered to pay for my $13.50 worth of food after the... More >>

  • A Nanny Scorned

    published June 19, 2014

    This is how the conversation must have gone inside your head: "Gee, should we keep the new dog that has already sent three family members to... More >>

  • Nacho Grande

    published June 12, 2014

    When I arrived at the restaurant last week, you were clearing tables on the patio and motioned us in. As we seated ourselves, you quickly and... More >>

  • Blind Lady Sings

    published June 5, 2014

    I'm old and disabled, and at times, I find riding the bus a bit daunting. A while back, I was on the No. 24 in Fullerton. The driver, a very... More >>

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