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  • 4 hours ago | Hey, You!

    You are the little tweaker slut who took advantage of your aunt's ex-husband when he allegedly gave you permission to stay in his house. The cock-and-bull story you gave him about your renewed commitment to college was just to warm the former prof...

  • 7 days ago | Columns

    To the people sitting behind me on a recent flight out of John Wayne Airport: What was so funny about the pilot's accent? During his welcome, you snickered as if he's dumb because of his pronunciation of certain words. But everyone understood him,...

  • 14 days ago | Hey, You!

    You are the disheveled clerk at our neighborhood grocery store who looks as though you sleep next to the carrots in the warehouse. On one of our trips, you reached into the pile of crud you had swept to the side of an aisle and picked out a little...

  • 21 days ago | Hey, You!

    Great robocall system you haveā€”it's a real drunk dialer. Yes, like everyone else for the past four years, I'm tremendously interested in Varsity Cleat Week and can't wait to find out more about awkward parent/doughnut social events and senior key-...

  • 28 days ago | Columns

    We were parked in front of the local elementary school when we heard the siren. Cars moved out of the way as best as they could on the narrow two-lane road, but not you. You kept going forward, as though you were leading the ambulance. But it was ...

  • 1 month ago | Hey, You!

    You are the young dolphin who made me giddy on a recent Sunday with your spontaneous, high-flying leap from the ocean. My beach buddies and I couldn't believe how airborne you got! There must have been 8 feet of space between you and the surface. ...


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