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2008 Stories by AMANDA PARSONS

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  • Killer Cuisine

    published December 25, 2008

    The holidays are for family. And now that you’ve spent the last few days surrounded by yours, no doubt there are some unhealthy visions of... More >>

  • Giant Paintball Park

    published December 25, 2008

    There’s no substitute for coming home after a long hard days work, slipping into some fat pants and picking up the good ol’ remote... More >>

  • All Inclusive

    published December 25, 2008

    In the ‘60s when Ron Karenga began Organization US (a rival to the popular Black Panthers), changed his name to “Maulana ,” meaning... More >>

  • Chop Chop

    published December 25, 2008

    Everyone remembers watching their first kung-fu movie. Those American voices over mismatched lip movements and displays of superhuman strength and... More >>

  • King of Hearts

    published December 25, 2008

    BB King is getting old—really old—but the thrill isn’t gone from the 83-year-old’s soul. His legendary status in the rhythm... More >>

  • Night Owls

    published December 18, 2008

    Animals are usually asleep at night time—unless they're nocturnal—so most zoo visiting hours end when the sun goes down, cutting... More >>

  • Cool Kids

    published December 18, 2008

    Sometimes sticking to the status quo can prevent you from taking that leap into your unconventional passions. We all know that it did for Troy and... More >>

  • Goonies

    published December 11, 2008

    In 1985, Steven Spielberg had a stroke of genius. He combined a disfigured man-child with a candy bar fetish, a move known as the Truffle Shuffle,... More >>

  • Mighty Words

    published December 11, 2008

    Eddie Sanchez may share the same surname as a messy bedroom maneuver but don’t bring that up with him unless you enjoy extreme physical pain.... More >>

  • Thats the Ticket

    published December 4, 2008

    Everyone who has ever heard of Andy Dick wants to punch him in the face. So when Jon Lovitz gave Dick a proper beat-down in 2007 at... More >>

  • Spacing Out

    published December 4, 2008

    If college taught us anything, it’s that nothing inspires recreational drug use like music accompanied by images of outer space. But... More >>

  • Passages

    published November 27, 2008

    Considered by many to be the birthplace of humanity, Africa has a vast history that is largely unrecorded. Photographers Carol Beckwith and Angela... More >>

  • Alligator Tears

    published November 27, 2008

    Want to bring a woman to tears? Have her explain the story behind Robert Harling’s 1989 theater classic Steel Magnolias. This tale of... More >>

  • Just a Nibble

    published November 20, 2008

    The witch from Hansel and Gretel is terribly misunderstood. She spent years building her dream house out of gingerbread, frosting and gum... More >>

  • Bacon Brothers

    published November 20, 2008

    Remember that movie Wild Things? Of course you do. It's the one where Denise Richards makes out with Neve Campbell in the pool and Kevin... More >>

  • Sound Salvation

    published November 13, 2008

    Ah, the ‘40s—a time when radio was the lifeline for Americans, providing news, music and entertainment, much like television does today.... More >>

  • Oprah-Approved

    published November 13, 2008

    Oprah Winfrey is one of the few people in this world who can do whatever the fuck she wants and get away with it, no questions asked. You want to... More >>

  • Grinch's Perspective

    published November 13, 2008

    It’s November—time to go out and kill a stately evergreen that has been around since before any of us were born so we can decorate its... More >>

  • BYO Blood

    published November 6, 2008

    There was a time not too long ago when westerns weren’t just fodder for children’s-television programming, but also an actual way of... More >>

  • Ra Feud

    published November 6, 2008

    Imagine, if you will, a falcon. Now, imagine that this falcon can totally fly, but instead he spends his days traveling around the sky in a boat.... More >>

  • Civic Duty

    published October 30, 2008

    Tuesdays are such a yawn. You might as well stay inside all day—unless there’s something extremely important happening, like, say . . .... More >>

  • Burrrrrp!

    published October 30, 2008

    Nothing goes with a good game of tackle football like breasts. And wings. Yeah, we’re talking about chicken here. So what better place to... More >>

  • Ruling and Regulating

    published October 30, 2008

    In the early ‘90s a new form of gangsta rap that blended funk music with slow harmonic tones and anti-authoritarian lyrics emerged on the... More >>

  • Spacing Out

    published October 23, 2008

    Space: the vast vacuum of unknown depth, filled with countless secrets unknowable by man, at least for now. Sadly, funding for space exploration... More >>

  • Pretty Talk

    published October 23, 2008

    Drugs, art school, chain smoking, odd jobs, homosexuality, family, death, love and elves. These are just some of the many topics covered in David... More >>

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