You Are What You Read
Legend:The Behemoth. The benchmark of high fashion, Voguehas launched and cultivated a thousand supermodels, fashionistas and socialites.
Hallmark:Editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, the penultimate modern Voguegirl: whippet thin, generally disdainful, indulgently snobbish.
Demographic:Ultra-rich aging socialites, Central Saint Martins' grads, trust-fund babies, Carrie Bradshaw devotees.
Advocates:Thinness, money, bitchiness.
Favorite Labels:Heavy hitters/major advertisers: Chanel, Prada, Louis Vuitton and promising up-and-comers.
Design:Think Vanity Fair—laid out by a lush with a penchant for textiles, begonias and Harry Winston baubles.
Accessories:Decent culture coverage, thoughtful commentary about plastic surgery innovations and the pitfalls of leather pants.
Legend:The first balls-out shopping-specific niche mag, inspired a fleet of imitators.
Hallmark:Your big sister Amy who has lots of shoes (but never wears stilettos) and bags (but none that costs more than a grand).
Demographic:Women who love clothes, who consider shopping to be both an art and a weekly necessity, but who don't tolerate the cost and bullshit of couture.
Advocates:The tagline "Lucky: The Magazine About Shopping" says it all. Its lack of editorial content and consumerist ethic would be obnoxious if it weren't so endearingly honest.
Favorite Labels:No label Nazism here. Luckyis all about what's cute, be it Target or Calvin Klein.
Design:Free of fashiony art shots of models tumbling out of vintage cars with the sun in their eyes. It's bright, pretty-pretty, three steps away from a tropical holiday brochure.
Legend:Still checking . . .
Hallmark:Pre-affianced Nicole Richie
Demographic:The kids in those iPod commercials, French-Canadian design students with asymmetrical haircuts, mouth-breathing children of privilege.
Advocates:Publisher says, "We give space to those engaged in the struggle of creativity": Paul Mitchell hair-care products and Sofia Coppola's namesake champagne.
Favorite Labels:Claims to exclusively feature emerging designers such as little-known jewelry guy Alexis Bittar but gives much space to established lines.
Design:Much more visually appealing than any of the other deliriously/self-describedly hip fashion publications, but still hopelessly outdated. So out it's in? My head hurts.
Accessories:Way more about lifestyle than clothes. Big into home design, cosmetics and ugly art shots. Sell your stock!
Legend:Namesake of girl genius/Sassy founder/megalomaniac Jane Pratt; famously known as the favorite magazine of "girls who like to screw."
Hallmark:Deputy editor Stephanie Trong, a brash, slightly crazy Texas native who dishes about her personal exploits.
Demographic:Youngish urban girls with decent incomes who enjoy cartwheels, dive bars, pranks, being noisy, celeb gawking, screwing and Diesel shoes.
Advocates:Fucking shit up, wearing pricey necklaces with leather cords and safety pins, ripping holes through floaty couture dresses to show off distressed Ramones T-shirts.
Favorite Labels:Marc Jacobs, Urban Outfitters, Bottega Veneta, New Balance, Stella McCartney, nudity.
Design:Boring as all get-out, from the photography to the editorial to the cover.
Accessories:The only women's magazine to feature decent if brief music reviews. Also covers technology, home dcor, sex and a column called "Eat."
Legend:Enduring barometer of hipness (though it hasn't been relevant to the cool elite since moving from Canada several years ago). In unrelated news, Alanis Morissette recently became an American citizen.
Hallmark:Gavin McInnes, coke- and pussy-consuming, Costa Rican villa-living, history of carnage, and full-back tattoo-having Viceco-founder who's somehow sweet as pie.
Demographic:Anyone under 35 who's ever held a plastic cup of beer at a rock show.
Advocates:Awesomeness. Vice's feature "Dos and Don'ts" is consistently spot-on and hilarious, even as the rest of the mag veers between perfection and gross self-indulgence.
Favorite Labels:Forever changing due to fluctuating patterns on scale of fashion in-ness. Vice—which also extends into a record label and a handful of clothing stores—currently digs Lacoste, Le Tigre, Built by Wendy, Penguin and Corpus Denim.
Design:Like the editorial content, it pretty much just says "fuck you, man" and lays stuff out all akimbo. Makes sense to design nerds, though.
Accessories:Explicit fashion coverage. It's so pervasive in youth culture that the mag could dress models in pink high-tops and all the cute boys would wear them. Wait, that already happened. Damn it.
Legend:Run by a collective of dick-eating hipster douches and something called a Helena Christensen.
Hallmark:The girls whom Vicefeatures in the "Dos" and all their bestest friends.
Demographic:Serious fashion-philes with serious bank, people for whom a limited-edition sneaker inspires a vision of Christ, frustrated 10th-graders.
Advocates:That which is fabulous. Said fabulousness is to be pursued at any cost and any measure of shallowness.
Favorite Labels:Respect for the reigning elders but refreshingly focuses on green talent.
Design:Hot. Sets the pace for everybody else. Youthful, fun, nice to look at.
Accessories:Truly fabulous cosmetics coverage, decent art writing and preposterously dated music news. You can't be good at everything.
Legend:Vogue's brassy little sister who gets a little loud when she drinks.
Hallmark:Kate Moss: drunk, sober, waif, mother.
Demographic:Fashion-industry insiders, Gwyneth Paltrow, poor, gay Manhattanites who buy it instead of coffee-table books.
Advocates:Thinness, money, bitchiness.
Favorite Labels:All the heavies, plus slightly grungier lines such as LeSportsac and Guess. Higher Versace count than Vogue.
Design:Ginormous size equals huge, easy-on-the-eyes fonts and pictures.
Accessories:A fantastic, superdecadent gossip section.
Legend:The most important and enduring bible of men's fashion.
Hallmark:Tom Cruise, any older, established man who secretes the distinctive scent of cigar smoke and rubbing alcohol.
Demographic:Bros. Somehow, GQis still considered the best men's fashion magazine by the computer whiz kid in a hip-hop band who wears fitted everything andthe retired investment dude who likes tailored suits and Nikes from the 1970s.
Favorite Labels:Dolce & Gabbana, Perry Ellis, Burberry, Banana Republic.
Design:"High Masculine" but classy. Not supergay—just gay enough. Evokes the aesthetic of men's social clubs of yore but updated for the gays.
Accessories:A pioneering lad mag, GQis all about the ladies. Sexy women pepper the pages alongside articles on every possible dude gadget. Inexplicably, short stories.
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