I've got bad news. All that stuff you've been spending your paycheck on—those patent leather Louboutins, that Chanel clutch, the two-toned Prada knee stockings—just aren't really going to matter a few years down the line.
Not because they're going to be tragically out of style (though they will be), but because of the inevitably doomed fate of your skin.
I see you, roasting out there in the sun every summer, slathering on the oil and sizzling like a slab of bacon. You burn and peel, and then you apply 3 pounds of makeup over your weathered, leathered face. With a spatula. No? Well, that's how it looks.
Seriously, let's cut it out with the eerie, cakey foundation, ladies. The real you can't be any worse than it already looks, and it'll only speed up the aging process. That mountainous pimple that's glaring at you from your mirror is something only you would notice, anyway.
While the makeup trend on the runways and in the pages of the glossies has lately been the au naturel thing, with just a little mascara and a dab of cute pink lip gloss, I'd also like to point out the majority of us normals are pretty damn ugly. We just can't head out the door with only mascara. Some help (or disguise) is required.
And with warm(er) weather just around the corner, there's a solution to all this. You can't wear the same amount of foundation when it's 93 degrees out—it'll slide right off your face. Lighter cover-ups are a must-have for late spring and summer.
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Companies such as Bare Escentuals boast of their "natural makeup," with their trendsetting inception of 100 percent pure mineral makeup, bareMinerals. Instead of foundations and cheek and eye colors in gooey, pastey, pore-clogging form, Bare Escentuals has crushed all of that into silky, creamy powders, with no preservatives, fragrances or oils. Best yet, it provides coverage and contains a natural sunscreen. It's been selling out in places such as Sephora, and now there's even a Bare Escentuals store in South Coast Plaza. A starter kit will set you back about $60, but buying the whole shebang at tranny mart MAC would cost you a lot more.
Other lines such as Cover FX, also available at Sephora, help you achieve that minimal but beautiful appearance that's so sought-after right now. A fresh-faced look means you need clear skin, and Cover FX has that covered with its SkinPrep serum, which acts like a primer for your foundation and supposedly keeps those creased lines and pores down. They also offer a mineral powder foundation that can be used for all skin types and won't clog your pores—much better than that Cover Girl stuff you've been buying at Rite Aid since you were 13.
A good cleanser is necessary, as well—and I've tried them all, from the cheapo Neutrogena stuff to Shiseido, Chanel and Estée Lauder. But the best is still Shu Uemura's line of oil cleansers. You gently rub the stuff into your face, right on top of your makeup, then rinse. It's less harsh than most soapy cleansers, and I promise the oil won't make you break out—Mr. Uemura (who recently passed away) assured us that it takes oil to cut oil. A small bottle will set you back $32, but it will last forever and feels luxurious as hell.
So, seriously, if you're going to smoke and suntan and stuff, at least take care of your skin. Not all of us can afford face-lifts.