Holy shit.

Don't be alarmed, but I think remnants of the Jersey Shore might have just crept into Long Beach—not to mention any and every club within a hundred mile radius.

You know, I get that dudes don't have many options available to them when it comes to clubbing attire. The masses are pretty limited to what's at the local mall—and what's at the local mall, unfortunately, is available to . . . everybody. Including your friends, apparently.

I've been noticing this of late whenever friends drag me out to the redundant Top 40 clubs with the monosyllabic names. You know: logos usually in all lowercase or all uppercase, along with a strict monochromatic color scheme with some red thrown in—the very same clubs that play nothing but Ciara, Rihanna, Cassie and Beyonc, all those unsuccessful-yet-still-hopeful-and-people-are-still-buying-it Aaliyah incarnates?

Yeah. Thatplace: Triangle Square in Costa Mesa, Pine Street in Long Beach, etc., etc.

But really: Next time you're out, guys, take a look to your left and right at your really cool all-male entourage—do your friends have on pretty much the same kind of (black) graphic design T-shirt? Emblazoned with either a) skulls (or a skull with a top hat on, all Slash-style, in the case of the guy in the middle here), or b) old Gothic font proclaiming some nonsensical word(s) (as seen here: "Drifter," "LORDS OF STYLE," "38"—I think that's what it says—and of course, what OC dude group is complete without the Famous Stars and Straps tee?)?

Same overdone fauxhawk-that-used-to-be-just-spiky-hair? Please, if you're going to do this, use pomade or wax. Gel's just going to give you that stiff Gotti bro look—but knowing some guys, they might just like that effect.

Same wide leather writstcuff watch?

Designer jeans with weird bleached-out, whiskered effect on the crotch? True Religions don't look good on, um, anyone, but particularly really, really creep me out on guys. Just too much.

And if it isn't the designer logo tee, then it's the same type of collared, button-up dress shirt from a) Armani Exchange, b) Banana Republic, or c) Express. Usually in solids of navy, black, or gunmetal gray, but striped if you're feeling particularly bold.

Anyway, it's all complete with either a) the "Westside" hands, or b) the double peace sign.


Though, I must say, it's really refreshing to see dudes smile for a picture.


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