Miss Dakota & the Burlesque All Stars

This is unlike the dreamy, retro, silky-slithering burlesque we've grown so fond of. Miss Dakota shimmies and shakes at a velocity so fierce the chances of a broken heart and a stiletto to the temple are of equal measure. Making striptease cameos on everything from Showtime's Live Nude Comedy to VH1's Rock of Love (God, we miss that show), Miss Dakota adds an athletic, almost spastic element to the dance form. Her performances are as fast-paced and micro-choreographed as anything you'd see from Cheryl Burke or Kym Johnson. This week, she takes over the Commonwealth Lounge with a fusion-jazz band to try her hand at the burlesque crown—though watching her jump around in that fringe bikini with hardly a sign of jiggle or bounce compared to other burlesque girls really makes us rethink that fifth slice of pizza. . . . Okay, maybe not.

Wed., Aug. 31, 8 p.m., 2011

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