It's the most consistently satisfying moment of my day. It happens in the evening, usually as soon as I walk through my front door. My fingers reach behind my back, and I unclasp the tiny wire hook that binds me. “Freeeeeeedom!” I sing in my head. I flick the damn thing into the hamper and do a little shimmy of liberation. For the rest of the night, my boobs are happy.
I hate bras. Sure, this could be due to the fact that, as with 90 million American women, I am wearing the wrong size. It's been nearly a decade since I was felt up by a Victoria's Secret saleslady with a roll of measuring tape and, well, you know, gravity. But even gals who are certain of their measurements bemoan the old over-the-shoulder boulder holders, complaining about inconsistent sizing, gapping, spillage and underwires jabbing their ribcages.
Jockey International, the trusty maker of cotton briefs, has come up with a solution to the age-old problem of the ill-fitting brassiere. In the world of undergarments, they've done something pretty crazy—replaced the alphanumeric bra-sizing format we've been bound to for 80 years. No more 36A, 34B and 42DD, archaic codes that don't take into account the shape of each individual breast. Instead, with its patented “volumetric fit system,” you'll find measurements such as 1-32, 3-38 and 9-42. Jockey is introducing 55 new sizes in all.
How it works: Order a $19.95 “fit kit” at www.jockey.com/jockeybra. It's delivered to your door so you can find your size in private (no more TSA-style pat-downs at the mall). Pull out a pile of 10 boob-shaped cups stacked as though Russian nesting dolls. Choose one that looks about right and place it over your breast. If there's an air pocket, try a smaller size. If thy cup runneth over, go bigger. The one that's just right is your cup size. Then take the measuring band and wrap it just underneath your bust. That's your band size. Put the two numbers together, and you have what Jockey believes is your perfect fit.
Take the new size to find a bra at a Jockey outlet store or online. There are five comfy styles in either black, nude or white, each retailing for $60. (The kit comes with a $20 coupon to use toward your first bra.)
Your boobs will surely thank you.
Follow me on Twitter: @michellewoo.
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