Try as I might, I'm just not coordinated enough to open a beer bottle with a lighter, let alone my belt. And I'm not too keen on having a bottle opener on my keychain (there's something about having an alcohol accessory attached to something that operates my car that doesn't feel right). But I do drink bottled beer—and lots of it! So I'm usually at the mercy of whichever nearby gent has a lighter and the skills or—cringe—will use his teeth to pop open my brewski.
Thankfully, our DIY era has inspired people to create bottle openers disguised as almost everything imaginable (dog collar? YEAH!). Here are a few everyday items-turned-drinking aids.
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SUNGLASSES LIQUID SHADES
It's science: Ray-Ban Wayfarers make you look insta-cool (just ask Elwood Blues). San Diego-based Liquid Shades ups the ante by taking that style of sunglasses and adding a lip on the arms that serves as a bottle opener. The titanium arms sit on hella-strong hinges so they can pop off a bottle with one fell swoop and won't break. These aren't the cheap giveaways you get for free poolside in Vegas or at the Street Team booth of your favorite infernal rag—the lenses are even polarized. Available at www.liquidshades.com, $145.
HAPPY HOUR WATCH
Be prepared to drop an ungodly amount of "It's 5 o'clock somewhere!" jokes when you wear this timepiece. Happy Hour Time Pieces from San Diego (what is it about that city and beer?) offers two styles: the sleek Nixon watch-reminiscent Dark 'N' Stormy and the bold, leather-banded Bottoms Up, available in black and brown. The buckle on both allows you to open a frosty with a literal flick of the wrist. This may single-handedly bring back the watch, considering cell phones have rendered the time-teller obsolete. Unless, of course, you opt for our next pick. . . . Available at www.happyhourtimepieces.com, $69.95-$99.95.
You might leave your sunglasses and watch at home, but you sure aren't going to leave your phone. Opena offers a case for the iPhone 4 and 5 with a slide-out bottle opener—it's a geek's switchblade. Available at www.openacase.com, $39.95.