By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
DEAR READERS: The Mexican just got married to a chica caliente, and he's taken her on a honeymoon to the motherland so she can learn the proper art of tortilla-making. In the meanwhile, I offer this Best Of edition because I plan to do all of my work this week en la cama—ZING! And away we vamos . . .
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DEAR MEXICAN: The last two movies I attended were rated R. Sitting around me were Mexican families with very young children. Why do Mexicans bring their 8-year-old kids to see a movie like Hostel? Do Mexican parents just not give a shit, or can they not afford a baby-sitter? Plus, the Mexicans let their kids kick my seat.
DEAR GABACHO: The only sin I see here is anyone forking over cash to watch Hostel, the 2005 horror turkey whose main claim to fame was casting handsome wab Jay Hernandez as a character with the retro-gabacho name Paxton. As for your question, the Mexican refers you to the late New Yorker film critic Pauline Kael, who famously quipped, "The words 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,' which I saw on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the briefest statement imaginable of the basic appeal of movies." Nowhere is that nugget more applicable than with Mexicans. Mix gore, boobs, popcorn and the occasional midget or gay guy, and you can occupy a Mexican for two hours. See, violence and Mexican cinema go together like refried and beans—it has been one prolonged shootout that started with the 1919 silent classic El Automovil Gris (The Grey Automobile, which dramatized the real-life exploits of Mexico City's murderous Grey Automobile Gang and included actual footage of their execution), continued through the urban dramas of the 1950s and various 1960s sci-fi/Aztec mummy/lucha libre superhero follies, and reached its zenith with narcopelículas (drug dramas) that Spanish-language television channels have broadcast without pause for the past three decades.
The Mexican love for filmic blood isn't a pathological cultural trait, though. As any Hollywood executive will tell you, violence is a universal tongue that needs no subtitles. That's why Mexican parents take their kiddies to see such films—as the children become Americans and the parents remain stuck in remedial English classes, sometimes the only way to communicate is to speak the language of Charles Bronson. And the kid behind you? Just practicing his Death Wish moves so he can kick your ass.
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DEAR MEXICAN: What's up with the elaborate, wrought-iron fences in the Mexican parts of town? It almost seems as though everyone is trying to outdo one another with these amazing displays of metallurgy. Is it just another way to try to protect the cars parked on the lawn and keep the livestock from wandering off, or is it a pathway to instant respect and envy among the neighbors?
WHrought Iron To Envy (WHITE) Guy
DEAR GABACHO: You can find the answer on the United States-Mexico border, WHITE: fences. Miles and miles of American-made fences. Triple-layered. Jagged. Deadly. That's our introduction to American society when we enter los Estados Unidos. All Mexicans want to assimilate, so fences are usually the first thing we erect once we buy a casa: pointy, menacing bars wrapped with organic barbed wire as though they're bougainvilleas or roses to keep the damn Mexicans at bay.
Yea not just on the highway , I had a hit and run a few months ago clearly I saw the driver and he just took off , then a few times driving in Santa Ana I had a few people slam on their brakes at a green light I always give myself enough room to brake , but I just wonder why they people think they can scam someone .. Hell no , I have seriously started driving around with my camera ready ... I'll be taking pictures of license plates next time someone tries to slam on their brakes on a intersection when it's a green light .. And I grew up in Westminster , but Santa Ana has the worst drivers
Im a mexican who lives in Mexico and we love to laugh about la muerte and terror movies are like chistes for us and our kids!!!!!!!!!
It is the truth about the communication gaps. My nana and 'ama both loved to watch Charles Bronson and Flip Wilson. Flip loved to do a very "pretty gal" back in the day. In Mexico we watched nothing but Lucha Libre movies with El Santo, Mil Mascaras, Tinieblas, etc. I still download Charles Bronson for me and my kids when my 'ama comes to visit. Freaking Gabachos have no idea what a good time is.
damn that's funny. We do love those wrought iron fences. A couple of lions at the gate enhance them.
They really need to fire you. You are really boring why dont u talk more about whats going on in the citys
Because its a cheap babysitter. Especially when they open up the exit sign. Or. They can't understand a Damm thing anyways so they might as well see some tits and ass
Some people had a bunch of kids at the drive in for "sex tape" & "Tammy" are those really the movies you want to take your kids to.
Michael, I think you mean why are most serial killers white not why are most whites serial killers. There was a famous Mexican one here in California though...in case you never heard LMAO..Richard Ramerez, the night stalker.
Alexander - that's crazy. If your wife doesn't want you, why you u want her back under a spell?? & what are you talking about anyway??? WTF lol
I'm a Mexican and I would love to know why Mexicans are so frustrating on the freeway? I feel like pulling my hair when im driving next or behind them
I was about to comment on why Mexicanos let their kids see R-Rated movies then this Alexander puts up that out of left field?? I don't know homes.. You got the golden parachute when your wife starting humping around like Bobby Brown on that other vato. You could've got a divorce and collected that child support. Now you gotta worry if she gonna burn you with another vato again. You can't make a ho into a housewife...
idk, whatever , I was really just thinking about the people Vincent described. Vincent has writing talent
My neighbour is working part time and averaging $9000 a month. I'm a single mum and just got my first paycheck for $6546! I still can't believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn't be happier. Heres what I do....... CASHFEED50．ＣＯＭ