Baker, Baker, Bake Me a Cake

[Hey, You!] With a penis, please

Bob Aul


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You're the baker who didn't want to make the penis cakes for my fiancee's bachelorette party, citing your Christian beliefs. You know the Sistine Chapel, the most glorious depiction of God, has a shitload of penises, right? And that Jesus had one? And most Renaissance depictions of the baby Christ? And that a cross is really just a dick and balls in stick form, stolen from pagans? And that the penis-cake order ended up paying for your salary because a less-stupid colleague of yours ended up baking them, after all? A penis is a beautiful thing and what makes the world go 'round—so stop being a dick.