Storage Wars

[Hey, You!] How not to steal someone's locked-up possessions

Bob Aul


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at

You are the thieving bastards who broke into my storage space in Costa Mesa on May 1. You broke my lock, trashed my unit, stole my possessions—and then hauled them away with my hand truck. You then put your own lock on, presumably because you planned to return and continue raiding my belongings, but you didn't want anyone interfering while you took your fucking time cherry-picking. That's all over for you now. The lock has been changed. Here's what's next for you worthless douchebags: The Costa Mesa Police Department was able to collect an abundance of excellent samples of your fingerprints, DNA and footprints left at the scene. You failed Robbery 101 when CSI found your whole handprints at the scene, and you left more than enough DNA to make an arrest. The police report I filed contains enough material loss to make your crime a felony. When you are arrested, I will press charges for prosecution. I have the time, the means and the support to show up to every one of your court dates to remind you what worthless pieces of pig shit you are for violating my privacy. You are not entitled to help yourself to my possessions; you are despicable turds and will be treated accordingly.