The Gals and Guys Every OC Native Has Probably Dated

An illustrated version of our infamous listicles from last year

So let us now celebrate bros: I've never met a bro who didn't have a steady job, or at least trained in the gym to make it big as a tattoo artist or MMA fighter or had an energy drink or clothing label to hawk. Most OC girls will give a bro at least one shot, if only because they seem like so much fun. But then they realize that other girls will call her a bro ho, and she'll become embarrassed and drop the guy. Poor bro. . . .

Thomas Pitilli
Thomas Pitilli

THE GUY WHO'S NOT FROM OC
It has happened with almost all of my gal pals—eventually, they get so desperate at the paucity of available quality men around here that they cast their conchas to better territory: up the 5 to LA, or down to San Diego. Maybe just to Long Beach. And there's always some guy they met at a festival. Cross-country, international. Better yet is the guy who didn't grow up in OC but just moved here, and thus he hasn't yet joined our men in loser-dom (and, yes, angry guys: I'm one of ustedes—hell, King Loser. Just read all of my pathetic date stories that I've worked into the paper over the years).

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