FORBS' War of the Santas

St. Nicks across the country keep fighting for control of America's premier Santa organization

How do you come back from that?

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On Dec. 29, 2010, Trolli appeared on FOX Business Channel, stating during the interview his belief that only Santas with real beards are "authentic" portrayers of Santa Claus. Seemingly professional and personable, he also said that a good Santa could earn between $10,000 to $25,000 per Christmastime.

Jolly ol' Saint Ric
Riley Kern
Jolly ol' Saint Ric
Real-bearded Santa Timothy Connaghan
Riley Kern
Real-bearded Santa Timothy Connaghan

The Weekly tried contacting Trolli and Germann for comment for this story. Germann's website, Jeffgermann.com, is down.

"Jeff Germann seems to have disappeared," Santa Ric told me. "Anyway, he's been formally excommunicated from the Santa community."

I emailed Santa Nick at AORBSinc.com and called the number listed there, but I couldn't get any response from Trolli, who now lives in Florida. I contacted some Santas mentioned on AORBSInc.com and got the name of Tommy Avallone, who's producing a movie featuring Trolli called I Am Santa Claus with wrestling great Mick Foley. The movie, funded by a Kickstarter campaign, has been in production since 2011, and will be submitted to film festivals in 2014. The Kickstarter copy reads, "I Am Santa Claus is a documentary that poses a question about a ubiquitous holiday figure that few parents ever ask themselves—'Whose lap is my child sitting on?'

"Santa Nicholas is the president of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas. He is one of the most unliked Santas in the Christmas community, having a very public feud with Santa Tim Connaghan, a.k.a. 'Santa Hollywood.'"

"I don't think [Trolli will] answer," Avallone said, responding on Santa Nick's behalf. "He doesn't really talk to people about the war too much. . . . A lot of reporters get the story wrong. Nick does talk about the war in our film, though."

Erwin worked with Avallone on the film project in its early days. "They interviewed me twice, and I provided all the archival footage they needed," said Santa Ric. "But I have no editorial control. He's changed directions in the film, and I think it might be turning into something of a hatchet job. I'd like to see some of the rushes and see if there's any reason to withdraw."

I called Connaghan, and we talked about the upcoming Christmas season and his lineup of gigs. I asked what he thought of Trolli and the Santa Wars half-a-decade on. "This is not what it's all about," he said. "We could have tried to take him to court. . . . But argument is not what we're about. Our job is bringing joy to the children; that's what we're about."

His thought reminds me of a line from the Santa Claus Oath: "I realize that I belong to a brotherhood and will be supportive, honest and show fellowship to my peers."

Now I know Santa Claus is real, but what did Uncle Bill mean about all the fake stories?

Did he mean that The Night Before Christmas was actually written by Major Henry Livingston Jr., an amateur New York poet with Dutch roots, and not by Clement Clarke Moore?

Did he mean that the village of Nazareth didn't exist until the 3rd century A.D.?

Did he mean that Yeshu'a the Messiah (a.k.a. Jesus the Christ) shared the Dec. 25 birth date with Roman gods Sol Invictus and Persian import Mithras?

Did he mean that Santa Claus, who originated as a mythical androgynous solar deity (circles the world in a day, etc.) is now an androgynous socio-capitalist icon who represents a balance between markets and people?

Or did he mean that really, really deep, dark secret about Nicholas and the Nicholaitans?

The name Nicholas (or Nicolas) means "one who conquers the people." A man named Nicholas first appears in the Bible in the Acts of the Apostles as one of the deacons of the early church. This Nicholas was a proselyte—a convert from polytheism to Judaism to Christianity.

Several early church fathers stated that the deacon Nicholas began the Nicholaitanism movement twice referred to in the Book of Revelation. In Revelation 2:6, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus how impressed he is that "thou hatest the deeds of the Nicholaitans, which I also hate."

Nicholaitan is the symbolic name of a party that represented the hierarchy of a misogynistic, anti-Semitic ruling leadership class. In her book Nicholaitan: Power and Control in Christianity, author Paula Fether says the consensus among historians about the Nicholaitans is of a group or movement defined by its desire to control and exert power and authority over people.

Jesus rejected priests and loathed the lust for religious power over others. Nonetheless, the clerical system at the heart of the doctrine of the Nicholaitans later developed into the papal hierarchy of the Roman church with its celibate (unmarried but not sexually abstinent), male clergy dominating a "flock" of human sheep laity. Belief mandatory under pain of hellfire. So constituted, they ran Western Europe for 1,000 years until the Protestants came along, rejecting the priests and the mass but amping up the misogyny and misanthropy. Nicholaitans were also said to observe the Roman solar-mass to Apollyon ("Destroyer") on Dec. 25 and engage in pederasty and pedophilia, which has carried on in the church's priesthood to this day.

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7 comments
BobLoblawsLawBlog
BobLoblawsLawBlog

"what's with no seat belts on school buses, anyway?"

An excellent question I, myself, have asked before. I do, however, have an answer to that old question.

The school bus seats are designed and spaced in a matter to prevent serious injury to children. They are designed to contain them like cubicles because the children are not likely to all be seated and facing forward. "Ah! But wouldn't seatbelts make THAT more likely?" you may interject. For some, yes, they would sit facing forward and belted into their seats. But more than likely they would not, they are children surrounded by their friends and peers and are relatively unsupervised. The other issue is that there is no way to ensure that the kids do buckle-up and remain buckled for the duration of the trip. Death and injury attributed to accidents for children riding in a school bus are extremely rare and it would also be cost prohibitive to retrofit millions of busses with seatbelts that would have a negligable effect.

drjeckel
drjeckel

Jeff Germann will hopefully stay disappeared.  He joined an established group named American Leaders and wanted to portray Davey Crockett.  He concocted a very tacky Crockett costume made of a very shiny fawn vinyl material that made him look like a doorman to a sleazy frontier themed casino in Las Vegas.  Then after being told that the group was nonprofit and apolitical, proceeded into working his extreme rightwing philosophy into his presentations.  He had an appearence set up to do Davey for the local Council of Churches, then stood them up because he felt they were a liberal group. This caused some influential people in the community to have very negative views of the American leaders group and demand for the group evaporated.


Finally the last straw happened at an Event called Artfest in Springfield, Missouri.  It had been an event that the American leaders had been invited to for several years and reimbursed handsomely for.  Germann in a rather foolish attempt to be funny, pulled out a long knife and threatened to remove a temporary tatoo from a little 4 year old boy's face.  His mother was aghast and complained to an organizer and American Leaders lost that event as a paying appearence due to this very stupid act and also lost credibility with the public and have had very few requests for work due to this person's behavior.  He was kicked out of the group but unfortunately the damage was done.  Yes, let us hope that the man has truly disappeared.

whateveryousay
whateveryousay topcommenter

Any time grown men want to dress up as fictional characters to get kids to sit on their laps gives me the creeps. 

BobLoblawsLawBlog
BobLoblawsLawBlog

Hey, great article btw. I remember hearing about it on TAL a while ago. This helped fill-in a lot of the blanks.

 
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