Lose My Number

[Hey, You!] A novel approach to handling telemarketers

Bob Aul


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to Hey, You! c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.

You are the telemarketers who have spoiled my great gig working from home with your nonstop calls on my land line, which I use for my job. Your daily spiels for debt reduction, political candidates and (mostly) home-improvement offers so overwhelmed me I stopped picking up for a while (God bless caller I.D.). But now I'm fighting back, engaging you in fierce arguments by first responding, "Oh, so this will be free?" after being told a crew will be in my neighborhood to do some kind of project. I put one of you on hold, then got you back on with the receiver posed just above the water line as I took a monster dump (with loud grunts). The other day, one of you asswipes from a solar company asked for my son. "Do you put solar panels on sailboats?" I asked. As you fumbled for an answer, I informed you my grown son lives on a tub docked 400 miles away. Before slamming down the phone on solar boy, I relayed a message that applies to all of you: "Stick my number where the sun don't shine!"

My Voice Nation Help
BillxT topcommenter

If I'm not doing anything else, I try to see how long I can waste their time. If they don't lie it, they don't have to call me. After I try polite (ALWAYS my default position) and they ignore it, then try rude, if they get all huffy, my standard response is "if you don't like the way I talk to you, don't call me". Polite is not an invitation to argue.


Although I sympathize with you, there is really no reason to be obnoxious back to them.  Just hang up seems to be just as abrupt and without the added blood pressure rise or fanfare.