By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
29. OC WEEKLY WHISKEY BANDIT
Over the course of a year, this asshole whittled down this infernal rag's Scotch and bourbon collection without anyone's permission. Staffers blamed our office's Mexican janitorial staff, drawing accusations of racism from Mexican In Chief Gustavo Arellano, who pointed out that said thief never touched the tequila—"and the only whiskey Mexicans drink is bukanas," he boasted. Arellano had to eat his own words when a nanny cam caught the Whiskey Bandit—a Mexican janitor—polishing off some high-priced Scotch, then cleaning the drinking glass with his grimy T-shirt. Ewwww. . . . Meanwhile, Gustavo now hates Mexicans. Mitigating factor: At least he didn't steal the $1,000 in petty cash floating around the office.
30. HOAG HOSPITAL SENIOR LEADERSHIP
When Hoag Hospital merged with St. Joseph's Health System in an effort to make sure the hospital didn't go out of business, one of the requirements of that partnership was that Hoag had to abide by St. Joe's "Statement of Common Values," which prohibits elective abortion. Instead of owning up to change, Hoag leadership tried to deflect criticism and claimed the decision to do away with elective abortions was to improve care, invoking the anger of eight of its OB/GYNs. The doctors released a signed public letter refuting many of Hoag's claims, highlighting that many other procedures performed at Hoag, including gamma knife brain surgery and robotic uterine fibroid surgery, were performed less than 100 times per year. Did those get the knife? Nope. Mitigating factors: Health care is pretty cool.
31. STEVE SMITH
Last April, music promoter Steve Smith tried to organize a spinoff of the annual Punk Rock Picnic by stealing the identity of the original fest from its founders and promoting his own, advertising headlining sets by Danzig and GWAR aboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach. The promoter had neither a venue nor confirmed headliners, yet he still sold tickets to unwitting punks and collected pay-to-play money from local bands who would give their left nut to be on the same stage as Oderus Urungus. But weeks before the festival, Smith canceled, blaming the city of Long Beach, and bailed on everyone who trusted him with their cash. Hardly anyone has seen or heard from him since—except in court, as Smith is getting sued by a pissed-off vendor. Mitigating factor: The possibility of GWAR sacrificing Smith's effigy to Satan next time they play the Observatory.