By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
11. STANWOOD FRED ELKUS
"I'll admit what I did was a terrible thing," 75-year-old Stanwood Fred Elkus reportedly told a newspaper scribe during visiting hours in May at Theo Lacy Jail in Orange. What the Lake Elsinore barber is accused of doing is shooting eight rounds into the chest of Dr. Ronald Gilbert, a popular Orange County urologist who was likely dead before he hit the exam-room floor of his Newport Beach office. The Gilbert family's attorney believes Elkus, who allegedly posed as a first-time patient, was disgruntled over prostate surgery performed several years earlier by a doctor with a similar name. Knowing you did something terrible is one thing; trying to shield your assets so they do not wind up with Gilbert's grieving wife and two sons—as Elkus is accused in court of having done—takes the sickness to another level. Or depth. Mitigating factor: If the prostate sufferer is convicted, his toilet will be inches from his prison bunk for the rest of his life.
12. LAMDA THETA DELTA
We don't know which is worse: UC Irvine's Asian frat Lambda Theta Delta (the Delta Tau Chi of the campus, except without the coolness), who produced a music video featuring one of their members performing in blackface and posted it to their official YouTube channel, or the American education system that has somehow glossed over a few hundred years of racism and produced kids who are just so . . . ignorant. In their (very weak) defense, the frat members did go into self-imposed exile, but is that because they're atoning for their sins? Or are they hoping it blows over in the year they're gone? We'll see when they come back in Fall 2014. Mitigating factor: One less obnoxious group of bros on Ring Road!
13. RICHARD JOHN RACK
Richard John Rack checked more than just homework during his time as a math teacher at Shorecliffs Middle School in San Clemente. The 51-year-old creeper pled guilty to two felony counts of lewd acts on a child age 14 or 15, one felony count of lewd or lascivious acts with a minor under 14, and one felony count of oral copulation of a minor under 16 earlier this summer. Deputy District Attorney Vanessa Woods told a jury that Rack would "test" middle-school girls by holding their hands and praising their appearance. If they responded favorably, he would move on to hugging and kissing. Orange County Superior Court Judge Sheila Hanson could sentence Rack to up to 10 years in state prison. Mitigating factor: Rack will most likely be called "Dick" in prison.
14. THIS GUY!
[See image of Tobias Fünke.]
15. MATT CUNNINGHAM
A pioneer in OC's blogging community, Matt Cunningham was shamed into digital hiding a couple of years ago when the longtime Republican operative outed sex-abuse victims in his pathetic campaign to defend his priest, John Urell, a Diocese of Orange bigwig who had long shielded pedophile priests from the law. Cunningham re-emerged last year to start a new blog funded by the Anaheim Chamber of Commerce with the sole purpose of tarring Anaheim Mayor Tom Tait and activists trying to reform the corrupt town. When he's not trashing attempts at democracy, Cunningham hails the status quo and whines that Republicans aren't paying attention to Anaheim, which only proves how influential he truly is. Did we mention he outed sex-abuse victims? Mitigating factor: He inspired two of the greatest nicknames in OC blogging history—"Jerbal," for his Baba Booey-like chompers, and "Fart Boy," because his ethics are as smelly as a juicy ripper.
16. ERIC LAMAR WELLS
Watching linebacker-sized Eric Lamar Wells weep at his June sentencing hearing after selling two minors, ages 13 and 17, to anonymous horny men in Las Vegas; Scottsdale, Arizona; and Anaheim (near Disneyland) was laughable. "I've changed," said a teary-eyed Wells, a violence-prone, veteran pimp. The 26-year-old Stockton resident, nailed by a human-trafficking task force that included the FBI and the Anaheim Police Department, sought leniency because he'd grown up poor and got hooked on a cocaine habit. But, alas, there's nothing preventing a poor person from knowing it's despicably criminal to use minor girls as well as your own girlfriend, the mother of one of your kids, for prostitution. Mitigating factor: Wells' weepiness might be attractive to lonely inmates during his 10-year prison stint.
17. THE DOUCHEBAG LONG BEACH COP WHO STEPPED ON DORIAN BROOKS
The incident actually happened last year—June 19, 2012, to be exact—but it wasn't until March 26 of this year that a lawsuit charging Long Beach police with brutality during pot raids got our attention. A videotape used as evidence in the suit shows cops barging into a medical-marijuana dispensary and ordering employees to lie down. Then the tape shows a cop happily marching onscreen and purposefully stepping on the back of a prone African-American man named Dorian Brooks, who had just complied with the order. The footage also shows cops trying to destroy security cameras, but the wiring was remote, so no luck there. The past 12 months have been full of examples of cops and feds acting like total douchebags in the unwinnable war on weed, but since this particularly malicious and cowardly act happened to be caught on tape, it wins the contest. Mitigating factor: Long Beach, which had banned pot clubs after its corrupted attempt to legalize them fell apart, is reportedly going to allow them to operate again.