Why Does Mexico's National Soccer Team Suck So Much?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And why do rockeros despise Maná?

DEAR MEXICAN: Can I "ask a Mexican" why El Tri sucks so much? And why a little stadium in Columbus, Ohio, was louder and more passionate than Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, which seats more than 100,000? Can I also ask why a country that lives and breathes soccer/fútbol always freaks out in Crew Stadium against my beloved U.S.? HAHA! I want to hear this one. Oh, and please don't give me an economic reason because El Tri gets treated better in Mexico than any other organization in that country.

Member of Uncle Chava's Army

DEAR WAB: You're not going to get any apologias from me on this one. I've long maintained the current squad for El Tri is overrated and full of themselves, that Chicharito isn't the second coming of Hugo Sanchez or even Cuauhtemoc Blanco, but just an overrated fresa, and their since-deposed coach Jose Manuel "Chepo" de la Torre was a disaster (quick aside: Did ustedes see the mock poll asking people whether Chepo had harmed Mexico more than notorious narco lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán? God bless our gallows humor!). I do find it funny the United States can only secure a fan base for its soccer squad's games in Podunk towns, that U.S. Soccer rarely stages matches in major cities lest its fan base get overwhelmed by the opposing side's followers, whether said side is Mexico, Poland or Iran. What are you so afraid of, cabrones? Let the U.S. play Mexico in the Los Angeles Coliseum—Mexico needs more humiliation, especially in Aztlán, to get its soccer act together, and if that means not qualifying for the World Cup for the first time since 1990, then I'm for it. Oh, and you're mistaken that El Tri is the best-treated organization in Mexico. That would be Televisa, Carlos Slim and the PRI, which are pretty much one and the same cartel.

*     *     *

DEAR MEXICAN: Oye, mi amor, I'm not a big music listener, but why do rockeros HATE Maná and call them sellouts and clichéd? They fill arenas around the world and are humanitarians, and their music is reaching a new generation, while their beloved Molotov, Café Tacuba, etc., can't sell out small venues. Is it because those fans themselves sold out and hang out in trendy cafés in Polanco, Los Feliz, Silver Lake and other hipster hangouts? Isn't music supposed to be enjoyed? Not a hater, pero me vale madre cuando estoy clavado en un bar.

Latino-Lite for Life

DEAR WAB: I answered the opposite of this question—a rockero who wondered why so many Mexicans love the soft-rock titans—so let me darle the question this week to Josh Kun, a professor at the University of Southern California, author of the excellent book Songs in the Key of Los Angeles, and a pioneer in covering rock en español back when it was good. "Part of enjoying music is hating the music you don't enjoy, right?" the good profe writes. "For a rockero, hating Maná is not really a choice; it's a prerequisite. Maná are rockero kryptonite, the ultimate foil. The sell-out scenario doesn't really work with them because Maná never really had underground status. They've long been cologne-doused fresa favorites, inoffensive rock for upturned polo collars, rock that didn't shake any foundations or transform any genres or piss anyone off or get anyone arrested. So when they get all the Grammy nods for being rock reps, the tried-and-true chavos banda get their outsider values reaffirmed—it's like vanilla winning the best chocolate prize over and over again. Plus, they still sound like the Outfield, and who wants that as a soundtrack for desmadre?"

Good job, profe! I wish I could guarantee this is the last time we'll discuss Maná in this columna, but that's as likely as El Tri winning the World Cup—sigh. . . .

 
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59 comments
jzur84
jzur84

thanks Josh Kun! We miss Rok-a-mole!

PincheKaboom
PincheKaboom

I love how they held it in COLUMBUS, Ohio.  And we know how mojados love Columbus!  mamelo!

eric.nelson745
eric.nelson745 topcommenter

FYI, Columbus, OH is a smaller market than El Lay, but it is not small by any measure.

Charlie Wilson
Charlie Wilson

(1) Because the Mexican team is refusing to hire a good foreign coach to guide the team. (2) Roqueros hate Maná because -- Maná -- while they do have a lot of good songs and are probably the greatest Spanish language Rock Band of all time -- at the end of the day -- They are a CHICK CHIQUI VAGI VAGI Band! They are not a Band that a straight guy would listen to regularly, except the classics.

thesch
thesch

˙˙ɥsıuɐds ʞɐǝds noʎ op ˙˙sǝuoɹqɐɔ ɐsɐd ǝnb

 

Fkkn Ericc
Fkkn Ericc

And if you guys wanna get hardcore... Do you know about Hocico? Ranking tops in worldwide industrial/goth bands, son chilangos los cabrones... Worldwide known in the scene but sadly enough not much known en su propia tierra!

Fkkn Ericc
Fkkn Ericc

Mana ain't Rock, puro fresa shit..El Tri es rock Urbano...

cynthia.curran8
cynthia.curran8

Pope Francis states that the church emphasized too much against birth control, will this have a revolution in Latin America where birthrates continue to fall below replacement level. In fact some of the Catholic Countries of Italy, Spain and Portugal birth rates are around 1.6 versus in France around 1.9. It seems countries richer than Latin America and poorer than France have  below replacement level birth rates. Brazil, Chile and Costa Rica and Cuba are below replacement and Mexico is now 2.3 percent. Will Pope Francis less anti-birth control all the time make Mexicans feel better about using birth control and Mexico also goes below the replacement level. Will this also effect Santa Ana and Anaheim in Orange County thinking that using birth control is more OK and large families are out and its OK to have only 1 or 2 kids like Whites and Asians. Also, years ago Puerto Ricians in the US dropped below replacement like rural Mexicans they use to have more kids than whites but they don't anymore. Puerto Ricians still grow in the US population since at one time they had large families that give them a population growth advantage which will eventually slowed down, maybe the same could happen to Mexicans.

grvz5247
grvz5247

I agree that the Mexican soccer Federation needs to be reformed but not letting them go to the world cup or calling Chicharito a fresa is assenine. Things can be fixed without drastic mesures.Chicharito cant do it all it is a team sport. 

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

I agree that the Mexican soccer Federation needs to be reformed but not letting them go to the world cup or calling Chicharito a fresa is assenine. Things can be fixed without drastic mesures.Chicharito cant do it all, it's a team sport. I dont see any of the critics of El Tri scoring any Goles they just critisice that the river is dirty. Viva Mexico! En las buenas y en las Malas yo siempre apoyo a cualqier compatriota.

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

Pero eso lo puedes desir de cualqier musica qie no conoscas o que no te gusta.

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

Everyone has there own opinion on music. what everybody likes is going to be diferent.

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

But last year when they won the goldcup and the gold medal no one was saying nothing. El chepo just got figured out by the other countries teams he got out managed.

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

They just figured out how El Chepo manages his team. I think he should have changed his style of management

Jerry Vazquez
Jerry Vazquez

I disagree I think people just figured out El Chepos game plan. He didnt change his game plan and got outmanaged this year.

ElPonyRuiz
ElPonyRuiz

More like "Ask a Mexican Who Casually Watches Mexico's Futbol/Soccer Team"

Chicharito isn't the problem, he didn't even start Mexico's loss to Honduras at the Azteca. Even if you feel he's overrated, Chicharito doesn't need to be the second coming of Hugo Sanchez for Mexico. Hugol never really got a chance to shine for Mexico, his fame came from his club career (Pumas, Real Madrid). Chicharito has already scored more goals for Mex than Hugo Sanchez. Chicharito is nothing like Cuahtemoc Blanco, who was more of an attacking midfielder, but I'm guessing Hugo and Cuah are the only Mexican players you remember.

Why was Chepo a disaster? I mean, I agree that he was terrible, but that's an easy call to make after Mex loses back to back games and Chepo gets fired. What exactly about Chepo made him a disaster? His tactics? His personality? 


agregorylawyer
agregorylawyer

Maza, Torrado, Meza, and even Salcido all need to go. They are slow and sadly lacking. Watching Mexico play is so predictable, and they have been terrible defending a determined counter-attack. At this point I doubt they can beat New Zealand even if they get that last chance to make it to the WC. I hope El Tri loses to Panama and gets the shock to the system they need to rebuild. CONCACAF is no longer a slam-dunk for Mexico. Having the largest pool of talent in CONCACAF Mexico should absolutely make it to the WC every 4 years, but they still have to earn the privilegio.

Boli InMiami
Boli InMiami

Fher does sound like the lead singer of Outfield, a certain whiny chillido. "I don't want to lose your love toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight" - "ereeeess mi religiooooooooon"

Steve Lanzi
Steve Lanzi

Maná frankly sounds a lot like Toto. But don't be hatin' the Outfield!! ;-)

Rafael Bautista
Rafael Bautista

Wow, Zurdok. Whatever happened to them? They kind of faded away. Still, better than Mana.

Osward Hernandez
Osward Hernandez

Mana no es rock asi que no nos hagamos pendejos, y la decepcion mexicana es puro pinche negocio y ya se olvidaron del deporte

Jayimill
Jayimill

For starters If Columbus didn't limit the tickets for Mexico fans you can bet that stadium would have been filled with more Mexican fans than US. It's funny how US sucked last year, you guys were so quiet. Now that US has found their rythim which I believe would not last that long all these US fans are loud and think they can compete against world class teams. Mexico at least give world class teams trouble, unlike US, they can't do much. They get runned over by world class teams so easily. Now let's be completely honest, US has no talent whatsoever. Only Donovan and Dempsy. Unlike Mexico has A LOT of talent. I give it a couple of more years, and we will be watching Mexico(USA) vs Mexico. haha sad but true! Mexico will comeback and you will regret everything you said. Mexico will go back to Columbus even if they limit the tickets for Mexico Fans and will repeat the Gold Cup FINAL!!! Yes, with that final touch by Gio. Hurts doesn't it? haha Pathetic!

Boli InMiami
Boli InMiami

"still sound like the Outifled" LMAO. La pegaste! mashup needed. Though I consider them more like the 88-present version of Aerosmith

Jose Bermudez
Jose Bermudez

I blame Carlos Santana for giving them and Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20 a degree of crossover validation. Pura mierda and a big disappointment.

Nelsy Segura Garrido
Nelsy Segura Garrido

Oh i read the article.... Dafuq ese wab esta bien loco como que poner a café tacuba y molotov abajo de Maná... Chingen no mamen ha de ser fresa lol. Good article i had a nice morning laugh ^_^ y que viva el rock n roll en español !!!

Nelsy Segura Garrido
Nelsy Segura Garrido

Hell no gabachitos mensos con el tri no se metan. Por qué sí no los chilangos te parten la m*dre . Lol también si con Maná se meten se los van a transar y rasguñar un chingo de mujeres y hombres enamorados de latín América xD

Eduardo Agonizantes
Eduardo Agonizantes

ajajaja ur stupid list of gay wussy pop music... there is nothing better than rock nacional mexicano... el haragan y cia... sur 16 lira N roll transmetal perro callejero luzbel... karatula banda bostik mara and so many other great bands not poppy crap u guys mention y el tri de mex was the shit back in the days todays stuff is also commercialism...

Ezra Frida
Ezra Frida

La "música" de Maná se oye toda igual, a la entrada de cualquiera de sus canciones no sabes que canción es hasta que empiezan a cantar

Rafael Bautista
Rafael Bautista

Latin/Spanish bands who are 1000% more relevant & entertaining than Mana: 1. Cafe Tacvba (the best) 2. Caifanes 3. Manu Chao & Mano Negra 4. Molotov 5. El Gran Silencio 6. Calls 13 7. Soda Stereo 8. Zoe 9. Illya Kuryaki 10. Los Fabulosos Cadillacs 11. Ely Guerra 12. Control Machete Want me to keep going?

STOPTHERECONQUISTA
STOPTHERECONQUISTA

@Jayimill you're just pissy because the US spanked you and most Americans don't even care. 70% of the citizens of your worthless country want to leave.....haha

spsoccer017
spsoccer017

@Jayimill I'll "analyze" what you said about the U.S. not playing any world class teams. We tied Russia 2-2 in Russia, beat Italy 1-0 in Italy, beat Bosnia 4-3 in Bosnia, Germany 4-3 in the USA, and we tied Mexico 0-0 in Azteca and beat them 1-0 in Azteca all in the last year. These are "world class" opponents and world class results (note I even gave Mexico credit for being world class). This is hardly getting "runned" (sic) over.

Donovan and DEMPSEY (spell it right) are not our only superstars. We have Tim Howard playing in the English Premier League, Michael Bradley in the Serie A, Jozy Altidore in the EPL, and Jermaine Jones in the Bundesliga. Not to mention up-and-coming European-based players like Aron Johannsson, Josh Gatt, Mix Diskerud, Major League Soccer stars like Omar Gonzalez, Eddie Johnson, Graham Zusi, AND Liga MX quality players like DaMarcus Beasley, Joe Coruna, Herculez Gomez, Edgar Castillo, Jose Francisco Torres, and Michael Orozco Fiscal.

Shame that you have to slam Mexican-Americans for choosing the U.S. We're a melting pot country and we welcome these Mexican-Americans with open arms to join this team. We have plenty of Latinos born here in the U.S. that want to be a part of our national team (see above) with more choosing the U.S. every year. And you don't get to claim these players as "Mexican" they are ours and just as AMERICAN as anyone else in this country. That is the wonderful part of being the U.S.... the strength of our diversity of a nation and national team. Con todos!

Tickets were not limited to Mexican fans they were just sold to US fans FIRST and there were few left over for visiting fans... as any home game is generally sold in any country in the world. Why would visiting fans deserve any priority? LMF would certain not give US fans that courtesy.

Whether this run lasts long or not it is besides the point. Mexico had a good win 4-2 in the Gold Cup Final in 2011 against the U.S. but now you are struggling to qualify for the World Cup and you can say "history" and "a few years ago we were good" or "in a few years we'll be good again" but we're talking about RIGHT NOW and RIGHT NOW you are terrible.

agregorylawyer
agregorylawyer

@Jayimill A home game in international soccer should be overwhelmingly supportive of the home team; if you can't stand a little noise in Columbus you have no business playing in Rio. During the current WC qualification round, Mexico has had 4 games resulting in 3 draws and one loss, while the US is 4-0-0 at home and did not concede a single goal. During this qualification round Mexico has played very poorly against teams that are a far sight short of "world-class". Con todo respecto, the World Cup is the international match that matters so who gives a steaming pile of caca about the Gold Cup? The best thing for El Tri is to lose to Panama and rebuild it's national team.

solohayunrock
solohayunrock

@Rafael Bautista  can you mention any bands from 2000's and up please -this is one of the reasons people like mana so much because that is one of the few bands they know.  Lets get out of the 80's and the 90's already.  Plenty of great bands out  there   Astro (chile), La vida Boheme (Venezuela) Austin TV(Mexico) Davila 666(Puerto Rico)

Jayimill
Jayimill

Yes, I'm mad that Mexico keeps losing to these sh***y teams. But it's dumba**es like you who make these irrelevant comments. And spanked? haha please USA struggled getting those goals. In case you don't know Mexico has a better winning record than USA. Go read a book! and if your not gonna comment something about soccer get outta here!

Jayimill
Jayimill

OK finally someone that knows what their talking about. Ok Donovan Dempsey who cares how I spell it this isn't english class or grammar school, the point is you understood what I said. Those world class "teams" you guys beat were from a while back and yes anybody can beat a B team. That's what I find really funny just because players play in Europe does not mean they are superstars, No. some of them are not even going to perform well we seen this happen a lot of times. and thats good that they are going to Europe but how many of them will be starters? be consistent? and not get loaned? I'm not slamming Mexican-Americans, now your just putting words in my mouth. All I said is I'm looking forward in the future for Mexico(USA) vs Mexico.

Are you serious? out of all the places where Mexico and USA have faced each other there is a good amount of Mexican fans. What happened in Columbus was ridiculous. Places don't do that. That is honestly stupid. I don't see them doing that in Chicago, Washington, etc. Yes right now Mexico sucks, I agree with you on that and I'm pretty sure I admitted that.

Jayimill
Jayimill

It doesn't matter, if you have to limit the tickets in order for you to have your "fans" come and fill up the stadium and even sell em cheaper than those aren't real fans. Mexico has played poorly, I'll give you that. But what you got to understand is that when Mexico plays at their top form they can beat USA without breaking a sweat. USA will NEVER be better than Mexico unless they start recruiting Latinos that are born in America which they are doing now which is sad. That's why I said it will soon be Mexico vs Mexico. You didn't obviously get what I mean with the 4-2 gold cup it doesn't have to be the gold cup for Mexico to meet up USA in columbus again, like maybe next time take your time and read thorougly and analyze what I said. And you didn't get the world class either. Thats cuz you ignored everything. SMH seriously I don't think you have any idea what your talking about lol

STOPTHERECONQUISTA
STOPTHERECONQUISTA

@Jayimill I thought you mexis wrapped the national team with national pride and so forth....meaning all my comments are relevant .....AND the most important punk to you is that we are better than you......we spanked you....and most Americans don't even care! 

Jayimill
Jayimill

I'm sorry but the MLS is a JOKE!

agregorylawyer
agregorylawyer

@Jayimill  You might have a point if the majority of US born talent playing at the level of MLS or better were latino. By your logic Chivas USA should have the best record in MLS, yet they are struggling not to end up with the worst record in MLS. There are plenty of good US-born latinos playing soccer today, but there are lots of great US born gueros y negritos playing soccer for Team USA.

 
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