Are We Really in Mexico?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And how do you impress a chica caliente?

DEAR MEXICAN: I have a Mexican friend at work, and we happened to get in a discussion that started off fine—but I believe I offended her. My intention, of course, was not to do such. We were talking about an upcoming Cinco de Mayo celebration, and I asked if she knew the true meaning behind Cinco de Mayo. "Of course I do," she said. "It was a famous battle we won"—"we," meaning Mexico. "That's great," I replied, "because a lot of people have the wrong idea. They think it's when Mexico got its independence." She then said, "Yeah, only you gringos think that."

She implied she should know because she is Mexican-American. I said that she's really an American who happens to have Mexican heritage. "I don't call myself a European-American," I told her. I was born here, just as she was! I said if that were the case, she should call herself a Roman-Moorish-Spanish-Mexican-American. She turned and, showing signs of being upset, said we are really in Mexico. I was at first confused, then I realized she was suggesting that Texas, Arizona, California and New Mexico were originally Mexico's land. So I said, "Actually, we're in Nevada, which I don't think was part of that region." I also stated that it was originally Indian land and the Mexicans took the land from the Native Americans. We Americans took it from the Mexicans. Seeing she was upset, I apologized. That was not my intention. What's your opinion?

H.R. Harridan

Mark Dancey

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DEAR GABACHA: Nevada not a former part of Mexico? Where do you think the name came from—The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle? That said, you were in the right. She shouldn't have called you a gringo at work—she should know we save that for when you're out of sight, or mutter it under our breath when you're one cubicle over. She also shouldn't be telling you that Nevada is Mexico—although it is, it's a classified secret not ready for revelation until Nevada is majority-Mexican, as is Southern California. Finally, her whole weepy-moany act is beneath a true mexicana; she should've dismantled your weak-ass arguments with the facts or—better yet—a well-placed chinga tu madre.

*     *     *

DEAR MEXICAN: I'm a very white man who lives in a small town about 13 miles from the Mexico border. In this small town, there is a coffee shop, and an attractive Mexican lady started working there. She does not speak English. I have a Spanish/English dictionary, and I have been writing her notes when I go there. She writes back in Spanish, short little notes. She says hello to me every time I go in there; I have been practicing my Spanish "hello." That is about as far as we have gotten. Her children speak English, but she does not. I cannot see spending my life talking to her through her children.

I am not sure what to do next. Can you help me with the next step? I would enjoy spending more time with her. . . .

Still On Spanish

DEAR SOS: Wow, a Marty Robbins song come to life! While your average Chicana scholar would rightfully rip you apart for your paternalistic, colonialist, macho, heteronormative attitude, I'll be a bit more sympathetic: You're getting WAY ahead of yourself. Already talking about seeing a lifetime with this woman? Get to a situation in which you can slip off her chonis first, son! And to get to that step, learn some habla first. And to get to that step, get thee to a Spanish-language class; since you're near la frontera, a soccer league should suffice.

 
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23 comments
cynthia.curran8
cynthia.curran8

For Migrants, New Land of Opportunity Is Mexico< New York Times Article September 22 2013, very interesting, not just American Retires, but Koreans and Mexicans that grew up here returning to start business and Canadians and Europeans. Think one day Santa Ana and Anaheim folks will leave OC for Mexico. Maybe some Lake Forest and Mission Viejo folks will join.

mjh1262
mjh1262

Dear Mexican. In response to your response to SOS. What the fuck is wrong with you. Telling that gacho that Mexican women are willing the have their chonis pulled   if he spoke spanish. You make it sounds as if our women are easy. In all honesty I was born in Southern Mexico. Raised here in the good ole U.S. During my young adult years I was what would be considered today a player. I dated different races. And the ones that gave up their chonis were mostly gabachas.

juanmartinezartwork
juanmartinezartwork

First off it was the Spanish who stole land from native Americans How can the Mexican government steel native land if under Spanish rule? Spanish colonial period (1600-1821) The Mexican people have varied origins and an identity that has evolved with the succession of conquests among Amerindian groups and by Europeans.Mexican rule period, (1821-1848) Get your facts straight.

PissedOff
PissedOff

Dear Mexican,

Here’s my question to the pendejo who denigrates other peoples mothers from his pathetic little pulpit.What gives you the right?Dude you are so out of line.I lightly read someof your self important drivel every now and then, think exactly that, consider the source and ignore it.This time you crossed the line. Your reply to Gabacha, in the very last sentence of the very last paragraph.“ a well placed…. ommited” is obnoxious. Maybe your editors don’t know what you said.But I do.

You know as well as I do that the words you used are fighting words. I won’t even repeat them. You wouldn’t have the balls to say something like that to someone in La EME I’ll bet. And by the way, I agree with Gabacha,.The only people who can lay legitimate claim to this land we live on in the southwest are the native Americans who once lived here.That us until the Mexican government stole their lands, and who in turn got the land they stole,stolen from them by the even bigger and more violent ladrones of the US Government.You know the story, the big fish eat the little fish.It’s been going on for a long time now.

So I guess the moral to this story is.Show respect to the mothers who bring us into this world because you never know who you’re going to piss of if you don’t.

Charlie Wilson
Charlie Wilson

Of course iit's a good idea, you'll gain their trust a whole lot more.

grvz5247
grvz5247

H.R. Harridan Just some history if you dont mind.  


Ulyses Grant

Many Northerners believed that Polk, a Southerner, was trying to gain land for the slaveholding South. Other Americans simply thought it was wrong to use war to take land from Mexico. Among those was Second Lieutenant Ulysses S. Grant .He would later call the war "one of the most unjust ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation. It was an instance of a republic following the bad example of European monarchies, in not considering justice in their desire to acquire additional territory."


Abraham Lincoln

Congressman Lincoln and some of his fellow Whigs had a very different opinion of the president, Manifest Destiny, and the war. Lincoln believed that Polk had started the war based on a lie. On two notable occasions, Lincoln questioned Polk regarding his motives for going to war.  Upon addressing the president, Lincoln said: "Let the President [Polk] answer the interrogatories I proposed... Let him answer fully, fairly, candidly. Let him answer with facts, and not with arguments. Let him remember, he sits where Washington sat; and so remembering, let him answer as Washington would answer... so let him attempt no evasion, no equivocation."


You are also wrong when you said that Mexicans took the land from Indians. Mexicans are Indigenous people. You are confused with the white european. 

Representative Joshua Giddings led a group of dissenters in Washington D.C. He called the war with Mexico "an aggressive, unholy, and unjust war," and voted against supplying soldiers and weapons. He said:In the murder of Mexicans upon their own soil, or in robbing them of their country, I can take no part either now or here-after. The guilt of these crimes must rest on others. I will not participate in them.


10,000 soldiers left the united states army during the illegal, immoral invasion of Mexico. Then over 1,000 Americans who left the u.s. army joined the Mexican army. 


The Mexican War was, the most unpopular in U.S. history. A list of prominent contemporary peaceniks reads like a gallery of distinguished Americans. Thoreau went to jail rather than pay taxes to support the war; Lincoln denounced it in Congress. John Greenleaf Whittier and James Russell Lowell wrote poems against it, and Ulysses S. Grant, who served in Mexico, described the conflict as "the most unjust war ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation.¨ John Quincy Adams spoke against it all the time and voted against it.


Silvia Serna Wilkinson
Silvia Serna Wilkinson

My husband a gringo btw sang this song in many occasions to me...in a sweet kind of way. And I love Marty Robins, it kind of gave me a glimpse into my dear Father-in-law's heat!

Alberto Quintana
Alberto Quintana

Some white(non Hispanics) Americans are quick to call Mexicans Americans out for saying they're are mexican first then american but they forget they use similar labels that still divid us. The day they stop classifying them selves and the rest of America by terms like white,black,Hispanic,Asian etc and just start accepting all of us as just Americans will be the day we may possibly drop out mexican identity. It's never going to happen though because there's nothing more fun & exciting than being mexican!;D

Ellen Gibbs
Ellen Gibbs

Haha, Marty Robbins. Back in his day there were often "answer songs" to C&W hits: there should have been really mean ones answering El Paso (from Rosa's point of view) or Devil Woman (from the POV of the Devil Woman).

El Chato
El Chato

Gotta love "Ask A Mexican" pinches Gringos!!

Ron Echeverri
Ron Echeverri

I don't know what soccer leagues you play in, Gustavo, but the ones i played in had language i wouldn't want to use to sweet-talk *anyone*.

Josh McIntosh
Josh McIntosh

I love to sing El Paso on Karaoke. Favorite lyric...I had to make it to Rosa's back door!

John Jaramillo
John Jaramillo

Marty Robbins.... LOL. Used to listen to that old-timey western stuff with my dad.

PincheKaboom
PincheKaboom

Don't apologize to the chiflada.  Instead, ask her why the French reconquered mexico and ruled it's skinny tortillas for several more years.  In fact, if the Americans hadn't aided mexico in pushing out the frogs, tu gente would still be parlezvous-ing and dropping their rifles at the sight of some raggedy ass chapines. 

Sort of like how your futbol team got humiliated last night.

And if she has such orgullo nacional, why did she flee mexico?  Other than to get away from other mexicans.

No, the fact that mexicans celebrate a temporary victory over the French, the most disrespected warriors on the planet, can only mean they set the bar pretty low.

Plus when she gets completely pissed at you, she will be very fuckable.  Women confuse strong emotions.  Your advantage.

---

And to SOS, you're SOL. Her first English words will be "sponsor my eight cousins from Culiacan".


STOPTHERECONQUISTA
STOPTHERECONQUISTA

hmmm, why is it there was no boooooing of the US national anthem last night at that wonderful soccer game in Ohio....(like we hear in Los Angeles) PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN INVADED BY UNGRATEFUL AMERICA-HATERS YET!!


HOWDYA LIKE THE GAME GUS!??!?!? HHAHAAHHAHHAAHHA

STOPTHERECONQUISTA
STOPTHERECONQUISTA

@grvz5247 I've realized something here....all of the native Americans who were in the areas the US took were granted US citizenship and their progeny have all had the same. The whole claim that 'Mexico (ie the spanish empire in North America)' has some claim to the areas north of the Rio Grande...is NONSENSE. The indigenous tribes were here. The millions who have come illegally since have absolutely no claim....other than the spanish king once ruled these lands.....and by  your own admission with the above quotes....form no moral basis for being here. Thank you for helping to dispel the myth that Mexico has any claim to lands beyond it's own present borders.

azamora12
azamora12

The Mexicans don't really celebrate cinco de mayo-- it is a Mexican-American celebration mostly used as an excuse-- the weather is usually very nice during May in most U.S. Cities. I am sure this lady did not flee Mexico to get away from Mexicans, it must have been the lack of opportunities that forced her to leave Mexico. Thankfully you dont have to worry about it in the US, you were lucky to be here. And fuckable? you are so classy. You are the typical person who thinks all Mexicans are here hating and taking advantage of you born in the US. you are WRONG.

esoj1211
esoj1211

@STOPTHERECONQUISTA Actually, the paisas like it better in Cincy and Northern Kentucky.  Columbus is just a little too close to Cleveland and Detroit. 

 
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