By Sarah Bennett
By Adam Lovinus
By Jena Ardell
By Nate Jackson
By Gustavo Arellano
By Nick Keppler
By Nate Jackson
By Alex Distefano
DEAR EXENE: I think my mom might be sleeping with a pastor from my local church. Ever since I was a little girl, back when my parents were still married, we've known this particular pastor. He would even come to our house for dinner now and then since we lived down the street from our parish. He and my mother never seemed particularly close, but they were friendly. I think they might've even gone to the same high school. After my parents divorced a couple of years ago, my mom started to go to church more often, and he would come over for dinners a couple of times a month.
Yesterday morning, I came downstairs to go to work early, and we bumped into each other in the kitchen—he was wearing boxers and a T-shirt. Let's just say he wasn't dressed for Sunday Mass. It was super-awkward, and I left in a hurry. Part of me is happy for my mom that's she's moved on from her toxic marriage to my dad, but then she's obviously crossing some serious boundaries with this priest as far as I can tell. It also puts him and his job in jeopardy, since priests are supposed to be celibate.
Do I try to get more info about it from her? Shame her into never seeing him again? Or should I be glad this priest is buggering my mom and not a 10-year-old boy?
DEAR LIZ: Well, something has been going on for a while. Maybe they are in love. Have they just thrown caution to the wind at this point, don't care if anyone knows anymore? His job is not your concern; that's his problem. Tell your mom, "Hey, I bumped into Father So-and-So in our kitchen one morning. He was in his underwear. Explain that, please."
If your mom and her priest are having some sort of relationship, that's kind of their business. However, a priest in his underwear "bumping into you" in your kitchen is most definitely your business. I wonder if he did that on purpose? I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, personally. A priest who cheats on God will cheat on a girlfriend. So don't rule out the altar boys just yet.