Why do Mexicans Return to Mexico for Christmas?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And why do Mexicans try to get their sons to marry Mexican villagers?

DEAR MEXICAN: Many of my friends think I'm loco for playing with my dad the way I do. See, mi padre is now retired and living in Mexico, and he is very worried that I am now 30 and not married, so he wants me to go to where he lives to try to take an india from there back here to los Estados Unidos, if only to at least look after me. I retaliate by kindly "reminding" him as much as possible that we are leprecanos (yes, I read your previous articles), to which he gets very angry. Everyone says he's going to beat me up one day, but it never happens. Last year, I gave him for Navidad a bowler hat, an Irish soccer shirt and matching knee-high socks. Let me tell you, he was so red for a second I thought he was going to explotar, but we still love each other very mucho. Are family relationships between gabachos so much different?

Concerned Green Bean

DEAR LEPRECANO: Just a quick reminder for the gabachos and wabs who might've forgotten your ethnicity: a leprecano is a half-Mexican, half-Irish person and therefore probably the most raza borracha of them all. As for your question: Why are you asking me about gabachos? They're a bigger mystery to me than the Mayan Long Count calendar. The one spiel I can pull out of your hilarious pregunta, though, is the idea of Mexican families in the United States sending their pocho sons to the motherland to find a nice rancho girl. While intermarriage rates among Latinos continue to rise—the Pew Hispanic Center reported this year that 26 percent of Latinos marry outside their ethnic group, second only to Asians among America's largest ethnic groups—the reality is that Mexican immigrants want their children to marry within their old social structures. That's why a Mexican-American teenager's life is a perpetual weekend of weddings, quinceañeras, birthdays, baptisms and boxing matches—they're all staging areas for courtship. Of course, the best-laid plans of Mexis and madres usually fail here in el Norte, what with all the girls from Jalisco, Zacatecas and Sinaloa flirting their way toward every Mexican man's heart. That's why the fail-safe measure for parents is the rancho option: There's always going to be a third cousin in the ancestral village who's still a virgin, waiting patiently for pocho peen salvation.


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DEAR MEXICAN: Why do Mexicans all flock back to the motherland at Christmas for weeks at a time? They buy a shitload of presents, new clothes and basically check out of the USA. They blow their all feria, and then come back broke and start all over again. My folks are from the beautiful state of Chihuahua, and I cannot remember ever leaving at Christmastime for an extended trip to Mexico. . . . Come to think of it, I can't remember any presents either. Shit—sucks for me.

Mexicana Por Fortuna

DEAR WABETTE BY FORTUNE: Most of the Mexicans who historically made the trip back home (I say "historically" because fewer Mexis are making such trips at the moment due to the narcowars and pendejo border fences) loaded up on presents for relatives back home, relatives who were usually poorer than them. Also don't forget the conspicuous-consumption angle (immigrants want to appear as if they've found success, especially when going back home) and the fact that Mexicans return to Mexico because they're Mexicans and have Mexican relatives who still live in Mexico and want to see their Mexican relatives in Mexico because Mexico Mexico VIVA MEXICO, CABRONES!!!

This column appeared in print as "Special Navidad Edition."

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Owebama is a true racist. Why does the US President hate the advancement of the standard of living for Mexico’s poor? Barrack Hussein Obama; how dare you deprive Mexico these young educated and motivated illegal Mexican Occupiers? Aren’t Mexican citizens the greatest assets Mexico has? Why rob Mexico of these assets? These US educated and motivated illegal alien occupiers (brought to the US as babies) now in the US are the only hope for Mexico and you want to keep them here in the US. They could start businesses, create jobs, and improve the standard of living for the poor people of Mexico. Yet you want to be selfish and deprive Mexico of these talented youth who could make life better for all the people of Mexico. SHAME ON YOU! Have you no compassion for the poor now living in Mexico? Gustavo Arellano, Steve Gallardo, Nicky Diaz Santillan, and La Raza need to insist that all these young educated and talented Mexicans be sent back to Mexico to help improve the standard of living for the poor Mexicans. Are you with us for the good of Mexico and its people?


I remember in Austin when Bush was Gov and he told the local Sheriff not to comply with the Feds who were trying to deport people.  Gov Bush said it would take away all our work force.  Then I remember I needed some cement work done and I was told the company I called said they  would be on vacation in med December until Feb. Took a while to figure that out.......Ah I see you go to Mexico for the Holidays  I get it............. dah me.    so make sure you take that into consideration when scheduling your home improvements..


When Mexicans return to Mexico for Christmas they should stay there and not come back.


And a Merry Christmas to you too, remember Christmas, the day Jesus was born..


Instead of a fence, they should make a giant cage thing like they catch strays  in...they can go one way through, but the angled door makes impossible to go back. That way the southward flow would clear up  the illegal problemo. Merry Chreestmas Reconquistas!

18usc241 topcommenter

@SheriffBacaFan Ah very nice - a Leroy Baca fan. Tell the Sheriff that I have not forgotten my encounters with his police officer's and those of the Long Beach PD on September 1, 2012 on the day my Colombian immigrant wife and I were celebrating out 15th wedding anniversary. Tell Leroy Baca that it reminded me of what Brad Gates and the OC sheriff's department did one day when I was on my way to deadline sensitive matters regarding my wife's very legal immigration into this country. While your at it, tell Jim McDonnell that the white female police officer who threw her car in front of my wife on 09/01/12 - tell him that I had not seen such physical violence from a uniformed police officer since before 9/11.

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