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[Ask Exene] I think I might be a lesbian? How do I know for sure?

DEAR EXENE: I'm a 21-year-old female who has been struggling with my sexuality, and I was hoping you could help me straighten something out. I recently met another female friend at school with whom I've become physical. I've dated guys in the past, but for some reason, I'm just totally drawn to her. We've been having sex for the past two weeks, and I've never felt this way before. Not to be graphic or anything, but she really makes me feel good. I feel like I'm starting to become emotionally invested in her, too. I'm really confused. I've tried talking to the girl, who came out to me the first night we hung out outside of class. When I've tried to analyze my feelings with her, I get the sense she's definitely got an interest in making me believe I've always been into women, but I just didn't know it. I'm not really sure if this is just because I'm physically attracted to her and I like her, or if I'm in an experimental phase. Have you ever had a similar situation with another woman? Do you think I might be gay? Maybe bi?

Love, Danielle


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Exene Cervenka is a writer, visual artist and punk rock pioneer. The OC transplant is the lead singer for X, the Knitters and Original Sinners. If you want to ask the legendary vocalist for advice—on your love life, politics, your musical career, filial relationships—send an email to askexene@ocweekly.com.

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DEAR DANIELLE: Okay, I think you might be . . .

A beautiful, open-minded, 21-year-old-woman with a fearless nature. You've discovered a new aspect of yourself, and it's great you have someone with whom to explore that. However, her telling you that you've always been into women seems as though she's pressuring you a little. Maybe she is anxious you might think your feelings for her aren't solid, and this might be a passing feeling. And what if it is? Your head needs to stop analyzing so much. See where your heart takes you. The LGBT community is strong and supportive. If you find kinship there, lucky you. Have a lovely, magical, ridiculously happy, long, wonderful life.

Love, Exene

 
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