How Can DREAMers Convince Know Nothings Their Cause is Noble?

[¡Ask a Mexican!] And does this column make good toilet paper?

DEAR MEXICAN: I was in the bathroom stall at a taco shop and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass wipe, I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be foreshadowed by the fact that you and all the dark-skinned Mexis are mosca en la leche—that will never change. And for you to steal the statement "gentle readers" from Miss Manners shows just how inauthentic and uncreative you are. But we realize you are a Mexi; stealing anything (whether bicycles or prose) is embedded in the genetic code of your dirty culture. After I was done excreting, I used your column to wipe myself and threw it in the corner of the toilet stall with all the other soiled newspaper.

Roger Hedgecock's Biggest Fan

DEAR GABACHO: Your mom didn't teach you to wipe properly; you just smeared this column with your intellectual caca. And Judith Martin didn't invent the "gentle readers" shtick; hell, Jonathan Swift was dropping that couplet in Gulliver's Travels. I realize you're a gabacho, so getting basic history and insults wrong is embedded in the genetic code of that raza's more pendejo members. Now make like a Yahoo, and dig for those nuggets!

 

DEAR MEXICAN: Let me start by telling you that, such as yourself, I'm a proud mexicana and how glad I am that someone so educated is trying to educate Know Nothings about things they think they know. My concern is this: I am a DREAMer, and I have come across so many stupid people who think they know what's best for us. I have heard it's never gonna pass, that we're just wasting our time, blah, blah, blah! What can I say to these Know Nothings to make them understand all we're asking for is a chance at what many of them have refused: to go to college and have a good paying job and/or to serve in the military. After all, is not this the land of opportunities? Land of the free, home of the brave?

An Orgullosa DREAMer Mexicana

DEAR PROUD MEXICAN DREAMER: Actually, I'm a mexicano, not a mexicana—not that there's anything wrong with that! As for what you can tell Know Nothings to make them understand your situation . . . they never will. Instead, tell them, "I told you so" by showing all the accomplishments undocumented youth have notched—college degrees, businesses, making your plight a national issue, one so big President Barack Obama has issued a stay on any deportations for ustedes (an imperfect gesture, for sure, but at least a start)—while supposedly powerless. Are these not the types of Americans we want, people who can stare into the abyss of hopelessness and emerge not only positive, but also productive? If you're supposed to make lemonade when life throws you lemons, DREAMers have created a taquiza out of nothing—and if Know Nothings want to ignore and demonize that, then they deserve the beautiful half-Mexican grandchildren coming their way pronto.

 
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15 comments
I_Have_Black_Immunity
I_Have_Black_Immunity

Mr. Owebama. How is allowing 1,760,000 illegal Mexican occupiers to stay in the US and giving them work permits going to help lower unemployment? Do you not understand that these young, educated, motivated and potential small business creators who where brought here at a young age are the only possibility for improving the standard of living in the poor Spanish speaking countries they came from? And you want to keep them in the US instead of helping our poor neighbors? Shame on you! No wonder the Spanish speaking peoples of the world hate the United States that steals their best and brightest.SHAME ON YOU OWEBAMA. Americans need to unite to help Mexico and Central America by returning these illegal occupiers back to their home land. You keep them in the US and you are only helping one person. Send them back and you are helping millions of their fellow citizens. Are you with me Mexico?

Dave_Lieberman
Dave_Lieberman

Q: How can DREAMers convince Know Nothings their cause is noble?

A: By becoming the Know Nothings' bosses through hard work and sacrifice.

 

itchy
itchy

mexico is now infecting its neighbors with its poison

jesuschristodenogale
jesuschristodenogale

Owebama is a true racist. Why does the US President hate the advancement of the standard of living for Mexico’s poor? Barrack Hussein Obama; how dare you deprive Mexico these young educated and motivated people? These US educated and motivated illegal alien occupiers (brought to the US as babies) now in the US are the only hope for Mexico and you want to keep them here in the US. They could start businesses, create jobs, and improve the standard of living for the poor people of Mexico. Yet you want to be selfish and deprive Mexico of these talented youth who could make life better for all the people of Mexico. SHAME ON YOU! Have you no compassion for the poor now living in Mexico? Gustavo Arellano, Steve Gallardo, Nicky Diaz Santillan, and La Raza need to insist that all these young educated and talented Mexicans be sent back to Mexico to help improve the standard of living for the poor Mexicans. Are you with us for the good of Mexico and its people?

jck_brt
jck_brt

I'll take "dreamers" going into the military for $100 Alex. Answer: I don't want to fight, I just want a free handout, like other illegals. Question: What "dreamers" would say to the suggestion of joining the military as a way of becoming a citizen. Citizenship, you gotta want it bad enough to put your life on the line.

JamesRobertReade
JamesRobertReade

The 250 homeowners with mostly Mexican families where I have owned my home since 1990, were not involved in riots/protests in Anaheim. In May and June this year, Ponderosa gangbangers attempted to take over my area and were rejected by everyone. This proves many are not "dirty cultured" as referenced. James Robert Reade

DonAlbertoDoyle
DonAlbertoDoyle

One small historical aside -- I think there's a tendency to employ the term "Know-Nothing" as a substitute for "poorly informed self-abnegating Tea Party halfwit".  The Know-Nothings of the 1850s were almost exclusively well-educated WASP plutocrats.  Yes, were nativist and anti-immigrant and extraordinarily bigoted, just like the latterday Tea Party/Joe Arpaio crowd, but the term Know-Nothing was their secretive shibboleth -- if asked about affiliation with the organization, they would reply (like Sergeant Schultz) "I know nothing".  It was not an estimate as to their level of knowledge.

 

In the modern Arpaio/Nativist case, "Brownshirts" might be a closer historical analogy.

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano moderator editortopcommenter

 @jck_brt Actually, Jose Angel Garibay, Orange County's first Iraq War casualty, was an illegal immigrant—how's that, pendejo? People like you just prove we should never have knee-jerk appreciation for those who served.

truthnamerica
truthnamerica

 @jck_brt And that's why a significant number of the names on the memorials for those who gave their lives in military service to this country (to protect your free right to be an ignorant fool) are those of mexican ancestry.

BillxT
BillxT topcommenter

 @JamesRobertReade

 But then, you can actually see past your prejudices.  No offense, we're all prejudiced, some more, some less, but some of us are able to largely get by them and practice what we (should have) learned in kindergarten.

 

Any time anyone use the phrase "all (insert your favorite slur) ..." they've doomed themselves to lying.

BillxT
BillxT topcommenter

 @DonAlbertoDoyle

Well, I think it's probably just an impression because so many know-nothings are drawn to the TP.

 

I do like the historical reference, it helps explain how we got where we are.

 

"... extraordinarily bigoted ..." during a time when bigotry was pretty much universally accepted.

jck_brt
jck_brt

 @truthnamerica

 You must be a schemer, I mean dreamer to be offended enough to call me "an ignorant fool." I served five years in the Marine Corps, where did you serve? Probably served in the welfare lines, with your hand out like all of you do.

GustavoArellano
GustavoArellano moderator editortopcommenter

 @jck_brt Doesn't matter if I served or not. You served, and are an obvious idiot; I didn't, and ain't. Who's the better American?

 
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